Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: BakaDollie GakiNoSuitGuy Shion (Mauro) Mickstar Shizentaisuu DCSubs tuna EcksDee Solarwings Typesetters: catpanda Hikarii Sacro pencillover12 Cherry Sevendayheaven hachiagejo Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: James PeaceBrigade John Dread
You're the worst
4:30 pm. The group waits for Hosei to return after changing
8.5 hours since starting police duty
That was the worst ending
Right
Hello
I was able to change back
Yama-chan, a cushion came for you
Ah, thank you
Excuse me
You had a tough time
Yes, it was tough
Listen up guys
The filming of Police Story is going to be restarted
Let's go have a look together
The long awaited new movie: Police Story
Another look at the movie set
I wonder if that lead actor was alright
Right
He got completely beaten up
I wonder if he'll be okay this time
Could you sit in the same place?
Police station
Will it be okay this time?
It looks like they set up some wires for action
New movie: Police Story
Hong Kong Film Basic: Wire Action Scene
It seems like they'll be doing an action scene with wires this time
T/N: They are speaking Chinese.
Lead Actor Returns To The Set
Does he not resent them?
New movie: Police Story
This time he has a deliberate discussion with the director
They're going to do an action test
Rehearsal of the Wire Action Scene
Action!!
A Perfect Test Run!!
That was perfect
New movie: Police Story
Lead actor instructs the younger actors
The real take is starting
New Movie: Police Story
Now for the awaited actual take
Action!
Different Action To The Rehearsal
Ow, ow, ow, ow
That would hurt
Director, Cut!
Call cut!
Cut, cut, cut!
Call cut!
He's not looking
Ow, ow, ow, ow
Ow, ow, ow
Cut..
He's laughing! That bastard!!
Director!
He's laughing! He's laughing at it!
That bastard is laughing!!
Ow, ow, ow
Cut, cut!
Cut!
Oh, what is that?
Crap...
That's dangerous
Dangerous!
Director!!
That's dangerous
That's not good
Not good
He's laughing at it
Director!
New Movie: Police Story
The lead actor is on the run
That was crazy
Crazy
That was crazy!!
That was crazy
The director was laughing...
He wasn't looking at all
He was laughing
5 pm
9 hours since starting police duty
"That" segment starts again
Appearance OK Derby!
The next challenge is...
This is a pretty high level one
Ohnishi Lion
T/N: Ohnishi Lion is a famous 1-man musical unit, in particular for The Lion King
Ohnishi Lion
3 actresses are the contenders!
3 actresses are the contenders in this race
Oh! 3 actresses?
Who would have agreed to appear!?
Exactly who is the one who agreed to appear?
The first contender is this lady
Excuse me, nice to meet you
Nice to meet you
Thank you for taking the time to meet us
Shibuki Jun
Ex-Takarazuka Revue Male Part Top Star
T/N: Takarazuka Revue is a famous musical theater troupe with only unmarried female actors who are split into either "Male Parts" or "Female Parts".
Astonishingly good looks
High professionalism
Incredibly good looking despite being almost 50
The embodiment of professionalism
Appearance negotiation with actress Shibuki Jun
The aloof actress is continuing to push through single life
Appearance negotation with actress Shibuki Jun
This is for the 24 hour No Laughing series
My senpai, Daichi-san did Pahko
T/N: Pahko is originally a tarento and rakugo comedian who has been in the business since the 60s. The Pahko persona was imitated by Daichi Mao, also a famous actress in Takarazuka Revue, in older episodes of the Batsu where she speaks and laughs in a really high pitched voice.
My senpai, Daichi-san did Pahko
She just called her Pahko not Pahko-san
We'd like you to dress up as this person and make them laugh
This isn't decided yet, we're just discussing your proposal
I'm part of Takarazuka, "Purely, Properly, Beautifully"
T/N: This is the motto of Takarazuka Revue
This is not good right?
This will be a no
Baaya -Manager
I have asked her to
"Negotiate here with them please!"
If you could just consider it...
Consider it?
It looks like it's a no
Yes
Negotiation over
It could also just be an act
Yeah
Could be
The next contender is...
Nice to meet you
Ozawa Maju
2004 Daytime Drama
In "Peony and Rose" she played an intense role
Peony and Rose
All of Japan felt shivers at her rendition of a bully character in 2004 daytime TV show "Peony and Rose"
Married in 2014 Mother to 2 daughters
She got married and is now mother to 2 daughters
Not only as an actress, but now as a mother as well,
Appearance negotiation with smoothly sailing Ozawa
Appearance negotation with smoothly sailing Ozawa
The costume will be based on
Ohnishi Lion-san like this
Ok...
Yes
She isn't really surprised
Huh, this is...
Of course, I know of him
But was there this much skin showing...?
We know that you have played many parts
within the shows that you've been in
If you think of it as playing the Ohnishi Lion part
As you say,
If I could
If I could think of the setting
and be able to create the right emotions...
I might be able to get into character
Negotiation over
I'll have a think about it
Negotiation over
Ok
The next contender is...
Yes
Nice to meet you
Excuse me
Natsuna
2011 Film
In "GANTZ" she acted with her whole body
After baring her naked body in the film GANTZ,
and showing her determination as an actress,
2012 Morning Drama
"Jun and Ai" heroine
she also was selected to be the heroine of a THK morning show
Appearance Negotiation with Actress Natsuna!
Appearance negotiation with Natsuna!
We would like you to dress up as this person...
I don't know if you'd say "dress up"... My nose is running
I've seen them before but...
No way
This
I didn't imagine this
I have a lot of tolerance
towards these revealing roles...
How do you say it?
towards these revealing roles...
Yeah
It's a bit...
Negotiation over
This is probably a no
Yeah, this is bad
Exactly who was the person
to agree to dress up a Ohnishi Lion?
Exactly who was the person
to agree to dress up as Ohnishi Lion?
Who exactly was the one who agreed to dress up as Ohnishi Lion?
Exactly who was the person
to agree to dress up a Ohnishi Lion?
Exactly who was the person
to agree to dress up as Ohnishi Lion?
Exactly who was the person to agree?
Hamada-san, please answer within 5 seconds!
Well, 1 of them might do it
Shibuki-san!!
You went for Shibuki-san?
Who agreed!? They will come out soon!!
I'll be surprised no matter who it is
Right
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
Ohnishi Lion
Natsuna
ba
Si
thi
uhm
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
Si
thi
uhm
in
gon
ya
ma
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
a
ma
Nants
What an idiot
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
a
She's into it
a
She's into it
a
I thought she was the least likely
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
What!!
ba
gi
thi
ba
Si
thi
uhm
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
Si
thi
uhm
Serious?
Wow
uhm
in
Ohnishi Lion
Ozawa Maju
in
gon
ya
ma
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
a
ba
ma
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
a
She's into it
a
ba
She's into it
Wow
ba
She's totally into it
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
Nants
Incredibly, all contenders agreed
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
Ohnishi Lion
Shibuki Jun
Si
thi
uhm
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
Si
thi
uhm
in
gon
ya
ma
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
a
ma
Nants
in
gon
ya
ma
ba
gi
thi
ba
a
Her dancing is amazing!!
Wow
Everyone agreed
Wow
Everyone agreed to appear!!
Everyone..
Wow
Are you serious?
Everyone..
So that's how it is
Can I say something?
To be honest, I don't get this job at all
For these aging smelly old guys
I have to wear this type of outfit...
You're completely right
That
That Rakugo-ka imitator guy
From a while ago,
he keeps looking at me in a dirty way
Hey
Stop that
lustful staring at our breasts
You D-list comedian!!
You can't look at her breasts
Let's stop this
That's rude
Right?
To be honest, I really don't want to do
this job!!
I am only doing this because producer Yoshinobu
begged me to do it, however
when you find out more about him, it seems that he's
basically a subcontractor's producer!
T/N: "Dancing Sanma Palace" is a variety show hosted by famous Japanese comedian, Sanma.
If the deal was, "You do your best here, you'll be able to appear on
'Dancing Sanma Palace' again," then sure, I'll do it
That guy
seems to work on
nothing but Gaki Tsukai!!
And he dares
to offer me this job
Is that so?
He really doesn't work on anything else
Is that so?
Yoshinobu is like that?
Yeah, seriously
Yep, that's Yoshinobu
It might not look like it
He's the president, right?
Yeah, Yoshinobu-san...
However
Do you understand that a real actress
pushes through until the end?
So cool!!
Shibuki-san!!
Wa
ta
shi
-ta
chi
wa~
Wa
We're getting laughed at
Wa
ta
shi
-ta
chi
wa~
(at our prime)
(DE
O
CHI
ga
PI
I
KU)
(DE
O
CHI
ga
PI
I
wa~
I
KU)
So
re
de
mo
u
ta
u~
So
but nontheless, we sing
So
re
de
mo
u
KU)
u
ta
u~
(GYA
RA
no
ta
me
ni)
(for money)
(GYA
RA
no
ta
me
u~
me
ni)
Ke
i
ko
wa
i
tsu
ka
Ke
We practiced for 5 days
Ke
i
ko
ni)
ko
wa
i
tsu
ka
(It's not worth it)
(Wa
ri
ni
a
wa
na
i)
(Wa
ri
ni
a
wa
na
ka
na
i)
In a large room on standby
O
o
be
ya
ta
i
ki
O
o
be
i)
be
ya
ta
i
ki
(No
mi
mo
no
mo
na
i)
(There is nothing to drink)
(No
mi
mo
no
mo
na
ki
na
i)
I
ki
te
yu
ku
I
We must live on
I
ki
te
i)
te
yu
ku
(with Yoshinobu)
(YO
SHI
NO
BU
to)
(YO
SHI
NO
BU
to)
ku
Shi
ta
u
ke
P~
The subcontractor producer
Shi
to)
Shi
ta
u
ke
P~
(Sa
ki
wa
na
i)
(Sa
(There is no future)
(Sa
ki
wa
na
i)
P~
YO
GO
RE
shi
go
to
mo~
i)
YO
Even dirty work
YO
GO
RE
They're just saying all they want
RE
shi
go
to
mo~
They're really saying it
mo~
ZA
jo
yu
u
O
BU
RA
I
FU
ZA
is an actress' life
ZA
jo
yu
u
O
BU
RA
I
FU
Jo
yu
u
yo~
FU
Jo
We are actresses
Jo
yu
u
yo~
They've done it
They did
So good
Amazing
Well done!
Nice!
No no no
Thank you
very much!
They exit with a big smile
Wow
They didn't have to give us such service
Still, why though?
Amazing
What is this?
Amazing
5:30 PM
Working for 9 hours 30 minutes at the police station
And now, police-appropriate work
Listen up, guys
Unlike you lenient old guys
a first rank police officer will conduct an investigation
Let's go observe!!
First rank police officer??
A demonstration by a former pro
An observation of an investigation done by a first rank police officer!!
I kinda want to see that
Ahhh my body feels heavy
Interrogation room
Enter
Line up as usual
So spacious
Over here
is the master investigator who will use whatever
means necessary to get a confession
Pay close attention to the tour
Alright
Interrogator, eh
Crack detective
Kendo Kobayashi
Bring in the suspect
Yes sir
What a pain
How long until that guy starts talking
Today I'll make him spit it out!!
I have brought him
Come in already
Get in
Suspect
Hakamada Yoshihiko
There you are
Hey
Do you know what you've done?
Spit it out already!!
I had an affair
It wasn't just an affair!!
Say it properly!!
It was an APA Affair
T/N: "APA Affair" refers to this actor Hakamada Yoshihiko's real life affair with a gravure idol at one of the APA Hotel locations.
Oh man
Now that I think about it, why the hell would you say that?
There is no such word!
The investigation of the APA Affair
There is no such word
While being
tired and drunk
While being drunk and tired what kind of favor did you ask the woman?
it seems you asked
the woman for a favor
What kind of favor was it?
To make a reservation at the APA Hotel
Reservation at the APA Hotel??
Are you an idiot?
It's not a crime though
That's right
Don't move!!
A prisoner has taken the detective hostage
Let me out of this prison!!
Shit
How did you get here?
Wait!!
Who the hell are you?!
Villanous bastards like you
Harada Ryuji
ought to be crushed
This year
I come here naked!!
T/N: "Kamen" means masked. It's a word used often for masked heroes, like Kamen Rider. "Hentai" means someone who is a pervert. Thus, his name is "Masked Pervert".
Hentai Kamen Harada
Hentai Kamen
He's still doing it
Harada
Hentai Kamen Harada
Hentai Kamen appears during a predicament
Why do this?
Amazing, right?
What an amazing development
Well, this is a co-starring dream
Co-starring dream
What's with this guy??
Hentai Kamen starts to control the situation
This guy is a real pervert!!
What kind of setting is this?
T/N: The kanji on the underwear is "Hara" from "Harada"
I'll shoot!!
Don't worry about me!!
Just catch this guy!!
Ahhh!!
Hentai Kamen has been shot and now is in trouble
It seems I've been shot in the arm
Shit
If only I had another person to assist me...
You're joking, right?
If only
there was a second super pervert...
Underwear
Hakamada
Goooo!!!!
What a great voice
Really great voice
Are you serious!?
Ecstasyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
FOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
What are you!?
This guy's an idiot
T/N: The kanji on the underwear says "Haka" from "Hakamada"
Several times a month I would have an affair at the hotel,
I'd walk out while collecting hotel points
and was sold out by the partner who I was cheating with
That was outmost sloppiness
Affair Kamen
Affair Kamen Hakamada
Hakamada
Affair Kamen Hakamada
He's an idiot
I'm done, I'm done with this
It's all being handled now
Affair Purification: Affair Kamen has arrived
Maybe this is helping him feel better about it
Maybe he's trying to start over on a clean slate
That was refreshing
Affair Kamen, good of you to break free
Yes
Good
Flesh-colored underwear
Why are you wearing underwear?
Don't underestimate nudity, you bastard
Amazing
He really did it
It's comfortable being naked, right?
ffu-
FOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
ffu-
ffu-FOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
ffu-
FOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
ffu-
FOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
ffu-
FOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
ffu-
FOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
ffu-
ffu-FOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
Hentai power charging is now complete
Achaaaaaaaa~!!
Achaaaaaaaaa~!!
Alright!
What is this even?
T/N: Lytton Commission is a Japanese comedian duo.
It looks like Lytton Commission
What the hell is this??
But even Lytton wouldn't go this far...
Alright, let's defeat this guy!!
Finally, a counterattack
T/N: "Hentai" can also mean transformation.
Transformation!
TRANSFORM!!
Affair secret technique: Golden Power Beam!!
Golden Power
Beam!!
We didn't even see these special effects
ATAAA!!
Prisoner has been magnificently punished
Good job, Affair Kamen
Yes
Hentai Kamen
Affair Kamen
Clothes, ideals,
shame
Favorable impressions can
eat shit!!
Affair Kamen, next year will be very busy
Yes!!
Don't say such indecent things!!
That pisses me off
What's with their walk?
They're both walking in sync
Are they going to continue walking
like that?
That was a close one
I can't believe I was saved by that affair bastard
Bring in that other suspect!!
Yes
Still going?
There's more?
The next suspect appears
Pardon me
Over here
Suspect
Takito Kenichi
T/N: Takito Kenichi is an actor who has appeared in many famous movies and shows like Godzilla: Tokyo SOS, Boys Over Flowers, etc.
No way
Wow amazing
Oohh!!
Takito-san...
Hey Takito
Why don't ya hurry up and confess?
How long do you intend to
protect that woman?
Mr. Officer
This again?
As I have told you several times
I am the culprit
No
That woman is the culprit in this murder case
You realized
that the scene of the crime
took place in that woman's own home, so you decided to take her place to hide her felony
Isn't that right?
I must say, detective, I'm fed up with your wild ideas
You're such an obstinate man
It was me who did everything
Enough with this!
Have you ever thought about what would happen to your own life?
I don't care anymore!
I'm fine with this
The suspect tries to cover up for a certain woman
What happened to the girl he's protecting?
I must say, I've been in this line of work for a long time
That's the first time I've came across an idiot like you
...It's my loss
Wait!!
Let me go!
Wait!
Let me go!!
Here she comes
She's here
Takito's Partner
Tomochika
T/N: Tomochika is a comedian who has appeared in a couple of Batsu games and Gaki no Tsukai episodes
Why are you doing all of this for me?
Why are you here?
I can't lie anymore
What are you saying?
I'm so sorry
I can't just have a calm expression and be happy with this, by myself
It was me, detective! The murderer was me!
What the hell are you saying? Don't say such stupid lies!
It's true, I did it!
Detective, there's something wrong with her right now
It was me who did it, it was me!
Takito!
Tomochika didn't do anything, please believe me!
It was me all along!
Takito!
I did it! I'm the one who did it!
Takito!!
Why is she shouting his surname?
I'm the one bearing this sin
So I'll accept my punishment
Crying?
Why...?
He's crying!
Why!?
Your...
The way you said it was weird
I'm sorry
I'm sorry...
So loud
He surely got into this
He's so irritating, geez
That was amazing
So much acting
Say, when I'll be released
T/N: Ehime is prefecture in Shikoku in Southern Japan
Let's go to my parent's house in Ehime
It's warm there
Huh? Is she for real?
And the food is pretty good too
Also, there's the Dogo Onsen
The hot springs, right?
You know, they say Dogo Onsen is Japan's greatest hot spring
It's a modern Japanese-styled architecture and it's also part of the Important Cultural Properties of Japan
What is she talking about?
You know, at night, red lights softly light up over the building rooftops and they create such a bewitching atmosphere
It kinda looks like a red light district
T/N: "Yoshiwara Enjo" is a 1987 softcore sex movie, set in a red light district
Just like "Yoshiwara Enjo" from Gosha Hideo's world
There it is
"The road of paradise the man walked back and forth"
"Is the infernal road where the girl was sold"
"So for one night, as much as possible"
"Hold this body of mine in your arms, cleanly"
You should stop them!!
What the hell was that conversation?
For real
What kind of conversation was that?
If I'm with you, Takito, I feel like I could overcome everything
Let's make up for my crime together
What do you mean?
If I die...
Truth will remain concealed in shadows
What are you holding?
What do you intend to d-- TAKITO!
Takito!
What are y-
Takito!!
You're kidding me, right? Takito!
Don't you do something so stupid!
Takito!
He's just looking
I just wanted to be happy...
Takito? Takito!
This is not true! Takito!
Takito's dead
Takito commits suicide by poison in the interrogation room
He died
He fell down pretty hard
Takito!
He ended up dying
You're probably not wrong
You did the right thing!
I'm so sorry... Takito!
Takito-Happy-Boy appears
WOW! Here I am!
WELCOME TO HAPPY BOY! Here I am!
You know, you guys
I wasn't dead after all!
What I swallowed before was just a happy-medicine!!
And now I'm live-live-lively as ever!!
Hahahah
The original Happy Boy appears
Here's the one
What the-
Babyon's here!
Thanks so much!
Thank you!
Somehow when the real one showed up, your enthusiasm crumbled down
That is surely one hell of a situation to be in!
But let's leave that behind
Are you okay?
An amazing performance, I must say
But this is different from a drama
It's variety!
A su-su-super-variety! Is it okay?
Let's overcome the opposition from our agency~
Oh my!
The life of an actor is a huge burn
Let's just cool it down with my icy jokes!!
Frosty touch!
Ouch! He's hot!
Must be a power spot!
That's super stupid!
What are you saying?!
What the hell?
And your partner
The sad performance Tomochika-chan just did...
Excellent!
Superb~!
Yeah but the one who wants to cry is you isn't it?
While I can say I am Happy Boy
Inside my heart I'm unhappy
Hey!
Happy Boy
WOW!
SEE YOU!!
I'm watching you as you fail~
Please say something!
That was impressive
He went through the end
Yeah, incredible
That was a high level performance
Didn't expect it to turn out this way
It was this after all
It's one of those times when things develop this way, right?
You got me, right?
Not at all
I don't get it
What point of view is it?
Eventually, us women are left all alone
You know what I'm saying?
Don't make eye contact with me!
By the moment two lovers part, only the woman is sad
But you all know that, right?
Don't look here
She makes me angry
Yeah she-
What the hell was she trying to say?
That famous man is about to appear before the totally exhausted five men
11 hours passed since their duty at the police station began
Center of political economy
The town representing the center of political economy
Which gathers people from all around the world: New York
America - New York
Various brutal events occur
While one side shows its gorgeous sights,
The other side shows a city of high crime rates, where lots of brutal incidents happen constantly
City of frequent crimes
Drawing near to the way of life of a legendary policeman
What we'll show you now is the real footage of our legendary policemen willing to risk their own life for the sake of their city
The man with a sense of smell that exceeds a police dog
File No.1 - a man blessed with a sense of smell way better than any police dog
A hundred million times stronger than a human's
The sense of smell of a police dog is said to be a hundred million times better than a humans'
The legendary policeman outdoing police dogs' sense of smell
But there was a legendary policeman blessed with a nose surpassing those of the police dogs
And it's this man
Legendary Policeman
Hideaki Jimmy Onishi
Olfactory Experiment
Grapefruit
Mandarin
Orange
Kabosu
Lemon
5 kinds of citrus-related fruit
We'll choose one from these five fruits belonging to the citrus family
A tissue will be soaked with the smell of its peel He has to guess the correct answer by smelling it
We'll have him smell a tissue used to wipe the peel of one of them
Correct answer: Orange
And see if he can answer correctly
Correct Answer: Orange
Is the sense of smell of the legendary policeman Jimmy legit?
Can Jimmy's sense of smell...?
Orange
Jimmy cleared the challenge splendidly
As expected from a legendary policeman
How can you distinguish the smell of citrus fruits?
From my nose to my brain... i-it soaked in
That's the smell of citrus fruits
I think that's a pretty dangerous way of smelling things
It has begun
This year too, it has begun
Are we going with this, this year?