Team Leader: Rich Translators: BakaDollie GakiNoSuitGuy Shion (Mauro) Mickstar Shizentaisuu DCSubs tuna EcksDee Solarwings Typesetters: catpanda Hikarii Sacro pencillover12 Cherry Sevendayheaven hachiagejo Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: James PeaceBrigade John Dread
Team Gaki Presents
Never mind that Tanaka-senpai
What will you do next?
Never mind that
Could you please let me use your bath?
Please let me meet with the waitress you mentioned
※Please read and choose with your gut feeling
Choice 1
You have to do it with feeling
Please let me meet with the waitress you mentioned
She should be in the communal bath
This is the scene of the murder, right?
That's right... huh?
Only our new recruit is here
Sorry to interrupt
Hello?
I understand, I'll be right there
What's wrong?
Apparently our cook and driver are having an argument in the kitchen
Senpai, let's go
This is interesting
Rookie, you should come too!
Stop it!
That hurts!
What are you doing!?
Driver
Hotaru Yukijiro
You can't fool me
You're the one who murdered Satomi-chan!
This is an amazing cast
Cook
Murata Takehiro
Shut up!
How long will you keep saying that?
Stop it, both of you!
Stop it! Rookie, help me stop them!
Stop it!
Waitress
Nakajima Hiroko
Stop it already!
I know everything
Murata-san, even though you have a wife, you had an affair with Satomi
What are you saying?
And on top of that
You even got her to repay your debts
You killed her, right?
When the woman who had always done what you wanted tried to break up with you
You lost your temper and killed her, right?
Wh...y...?
Newbie Cleaner
Thai Kick
Huh?
What is this? "Thai Kick"...?
Thai Kick-san
Stop it!
Thai Kick-san
Shut up, if it's come to this...
I'll escape no matter what
It's the climax
Stop resisting and turn yourself in
Why would I turn myself in now?
Get a car ready
If you don't hurry up, I will kill him
Tanaka-senpai... What should we do?
Shoot!
Put down your guns and negotiate
※Please read and choose with your gut feeling
Choice 2
This is hard
This is a hard one
I think even so...
Put down your guns and negotiate
I got it
Let's talk
We don't have anything to talk about
Quickly... Get a car ready
Senpai...
Tanaka
Let's arrest him!
You're arrested on suspicion of murder
Thai Kick!
Thai Kick...
I'm so glad! So glad!
They keep calling him Thai Kick-san...
Thai Kick
T/N: "Thai Kick-san" is speaking in Thai.
Thank you! Thank you!
It's all thanks to you!
It's good that you weren't hurt
Yeahhh
Now that it's all over, I feel quite hungry
Senpai
Shall we get some ramen on the way back?
Of course, it'll be your treat
Tanaka
Hahaha
Thai Kick
Quit laughing Tanaka! The case may be solved but
1 person died! You're in for a thai kick!
This is crazy
Ah, Thai Kick-san is here
Isn't this crazy?
Really
Of all the thai kicks up until now, isn't this the cruelest?
It's dangerous
You shouldn't move around
Maybe you made a mistake somewhere?
That's right, one of your choices
Yeah, amongst the A B, A B
You should've shot him!!
That's right
No, no, no, no, wait a sec
Do I have to get thai kicked for that?
Just stay still!
Your choice was wrong
Ouchhhhh!!
That would've hurt
It hurt
What are you doing?
Ouch!
It hurts, doesn't it?
It hurts right? Every year, huh?
Ow
Me as well!?
It's such a turn off, Tanaka's reaction!!
It was perfect
That hurts
But...
It's like this all the time
Yeah, it's inevitable
Still...
Wasn't that harsh?
The leadup to the Thai Kick?
It's because you chose wrong
You chose wrong
You have to shoot. If you shot then, it would've been over!!
See! You chose wrong!
Shoot!
Put down your guns and negotiate
Chapter Menu
You can re-select once more
Choice 2
You can choose once more!
Does this mean that I have to try once more?
I thought so
I thought it was the wrong answer
In this situation it's best to just shoot, you can't help it
It's best to shoot!!
Shoot!
I got it
I don't know how it will turn out
Thai Kick, get down!
Stop it!
He...
Killed Satomi-chan for my sake
Shut up Naomi!
He...
Shouldered my debt, and ended up going so far to repay it
Shut up!
This...
It's all my fault
Quickly, get a car ready!
This bit is the same
So this is the same
You!!
It's changed
You have to quickly shoot
It's different!
Watch out!
Stop it!
Watch out!
Thai Kick!
Tanaka
Let's arrest him!
Saa
ne
mu
ri
na
sa
i
C
o
m
e
n
o
w
,
f
a
l
a
s
l
e
p
Saa
ne
mu
ri
na
sa
i
Come now, fall asleep
ne
mu
ri
na
sa
i
Tsu
ka
re
ki
t
ta
ka
ra
da
wo
na
ge
da
shi
te
L
a
y
d
o
w
n
y
o
u
r
t
i
r
e
d
b
o
d
y
Tsu
ka
re
ki
t
ta
ka
ra
da
wo
na
ge
da
shi
te
Lay down your tired body
ka
re
Understudy Detective
Nakamura Shunsuke
ki
t
ta
ka
ra
da
wo
Senior Hostess
Akimoto Naomi
na
ge
da
shi
te
Look, Thai Kick is gone!
A
o
i
so
no
ma
bu
ta
wo
L
e
t
m
e
g
e
n
t
l
y
c
l
o
s
e
A
o
i
so
no
ma
bu
ta
wo
Let me gently close
o
So there was no Thai Kick for this one!
Waitress
Nakajima Hiroko
i
so
no
ma
bu
ta
wo
Ku
chi
bi
ru
de
so
t
to
fu
sa
gi
ma
shou
y
o
u
r
p
a
l
e
y
e
l
i
d
s
w
i
t
h
m
y
l
i
p
s
Thai Kick is gone!
Ku
chi
bi
ru
de
so
t
to
fu
sa
gi
ma
shou
your pale eyelids with my lips
Driver
Hotaru Yukijiro
chi
bi
ru
What is this...
de
Wow
Cook
Murata Takehiro
so
t
Thai Kick fell off
to
fu
sa
gi
ma
shou
Rookie Cleaner
Thai Kick
You are arrested on suspicion of murdering Yamashita Satomi
Junior Hostess
Ogoshi Natsumi
This was the good one
Ko
no
ma
chi
wa
se
n
jo
u
da
ka
ra
T
h
i
s
t
o
w
n
i
s
a
b
a
t
l
e
f
i
e
l
d
Ko
no
ma
chi
wa
se
n
jo
u
da
ka
ra
This town is a battlefield
no
This was the good one
If I chose right, I wouldn't have gotten kicked
ma
chi
wa
Waitress A
Shimojo Mana
So you were really wrong
se
n
jo
u
I was actually wrong
Voice-overs
Taguchi Tomorowo
da
ka
ra
It can't be helped
O
to
ko
wa
mi
n
na...
a
n
d
a
l
t
h
e
m
e
n
a
r
e
.
O
to
ko
wa
mi
n
na...
and all the men are...
to
ko
This was a high class cast
wa
Ending Theme
"The Madonnas' Lullaby"
Iwasaki Hiromi
mi
n
na...
Huh?
Tanaka! Tanaka! Tanaka!
Thai Kick
Hey! Because of you guys I got drenched!
Whose orders was it? Was it you!?
No, no, it wasn't me
It was Tanaka-senpai's orders
Thai Kick
Tanaka!! So it was you, bastard! Thai kick!
Wasn't I supposed to be safe from a thai kick?
If you keep running away he will just do it harder
Really
I will tell him to hold back
Gently please, kick him gently
See, see!
He nodded yes
Hurry up and put your hands down
Thai Kick-san...
You'll do it slowly for him right?
See
It'll be fine
Gently please
Gently please!!
Hurry it up
Owwahaha!!
Ahh, it hurts...
It's because you complain!!
That's right
Not even his voice comes out now
Tanaka
It's because you complain!!
Do I also have to get hit?
Tanaka
It's inevitable, Tanaka
Right?
But it was amazing
The second time I was watching from nearby
I thought he went easy on you the second time
Yeah, that's what we kept saying
How was it?
Do it gently
It was about the same amount of pain
But Tanaka, there is one more
There is one more
This isn't a Thai Kick, I think
It really does hurt.
The drama has concluded for now, right?
It's over, right?
What an extravagant cast!!
Right
Mhmm
That's right
This shouldn't be...
It looks like the same though
Long Standing Inn
Steaming Murder Mystery 2
Investigation Begin
Tanaka-senpai
This one was a tough case
Let's return to the station
What's that?
Let's go have a look
What is it? What happened?
Hotaru-san is...
What the hell is going on here?!
Senior Hostess, explain this
I don't know
When I came to clean the public bath with Thai-Kick-san Hotaru-san was already lying there
For now, we'll inspect the scene of the crime
Nakamura
The name of the murderer must have been written here
※Please read and choose with your gut feeling
The bath towel is suspicious!
The bath bucket is suspicious!
Choice 3
This... I mean, let's...
Shouldn't we discuss this first?
This is a case of a dying message, right?
Yes
Under normal circumstances the towel would be obvious...
Exactly
Since the towel is long...
This choice is towel, right?
If we have to go with normal intuition. But there is also reverse logic
If we go normally, right?
Tanaka, you better choose one.
Going the orthodox route, I would say
the bath towel is suspicious
I see.
Hamada
T/N: The character 田 is the same character for "Ta" in "Tanaka" and "Da" in "Hamada". Since it looks the same from all angles, it looked like it was going to say "Tanaka".
Hamada
Huh?
The culprit is Hamada
Thai Kick
Hamada Thai Kick!
No, no, no, no way!
You're kidding me!!
Tanaka, nice choice!!
Can't be
But it said so... Hamada was written there
No way!?
Wait a bit.
Do it gentl-
Ahhhhhh!!
A face like that exists?
It hurts so bad...!
It's no longer just someone else's problem...
Well that's how it is
I guess you're right
Someone has to take it
That's true
Seems painful
It gets to you
What a...
What a face you're making.
It hurts it hurts it hurts...
Does it?
So it does hurt
This is becoming scary
You can re-select once more
The bath towel is suspicious!
The bath bucket is suspicious!
Choice 3
From there?
Please stop this
This can't be real
Isn't it enough now that Hamada is the culprit?
I will choose
I'm also scared of Hamada's facial reaction
The bath bucket is suspicious
We're counting you
I haven't felt this kind of pain in a long time
Please stop
This is the worst feeling
Tana-
Matsumoto
So direct
You are the next one. They are aiming for all of us
This decision determines the punishment
Thai Kick
Matsumoto Thai Kick!
Could you put a little more thought into this?
Let's all make some space
For how long will this go on?
My breathing...
My breathing has stopped!
Quiet down
Quiet down already
Ahhhhh!!
Drool is coming out!!
What's up with this face.
My balls are gonna come off!!
Really??
No, really
It really hurt
That's right
Right in this moment
Yeah
You are so loud, jeez
My balls came off!!
You're fine, they're fine
They can't come off like that
It's fine
They are securely hanging on there
That looked like it hurt
True pain!!
3 hours since the beginning.
3 hours since the beginning
Even the 54 year old Downtown members have been shown no mercy
No mercy has been shown to the 54 year old Downtown members.
After this, the punishments won't get any lighter!!
However after this, the punishments won't get any easier
Police station duties: 3 and a half hours
Serving at the police station for 3 and a half hours
There is no time for breaks for the beginners
Listen up, guys
To strengthen the bond between your American police partners
a recreational event has been arranged
There it is
Please change into these clothes and get ready
There it is
A recreational event with their fellow American Policemen
To strengthen the bond between fellow American policemen
they will participate in a recreational event!!
The purpose of the different colored shirts is...
Everyone, from here on it will be a recreational event. So you can laugh
Auditorium
Special rule
During recreation laughing is OK!!
Have fun
Okay
The five newcomers have been divided into two teams
Hamada Masatoshi
Endo Shozo
Hakata Hanamaru
Kikuchi Ami
Matoba Kouji
Lotti Nakaoka
Captain
Miyasako Hiroyuki
Captain
Fujimoto Toshifumi
Matsumoto Hitoshi
Tsukitei Hosei
Tanaka Naoki
Cunning Takeyama
Shinohara Shinichi
Takizawa Karen
Team Miyasako vs Team Fujimoto
Let's open the curtain for this passionate battle
Sparks will fly! Electric shock sumo!
Kuno Shizuka
(Nippon TV Announcer)
Chihara Junior
Assistant
Sparks will fly!
Electric Shock
Sumo
What?
Shocking... What?
We will make a representative from each team
Sparks will fly! Electric Shock Sumo!!
A representative from each team will have to compete in hand-pushing sumo to win.
come to the front and compete in hand-pushing sumo
What?
But this isn't your regular hand-push sumo
The hand-push sumo will occur with an electric current to zap you!
All while electrical current runs through them
Why would we do such a thing?
The first to fall off the platform loses
The last person to stay on the platform wins
For each win, I will administer a point to the team
First off from Team Miyasako: Nakaoka
Lotti Nakaoka
Team Miyasako
From Team Fujimoto it's Tanaka.
Tanaka Naoki
Team Fujimoto
Oh no!
Do your best in the battle of thin hair
That's actually true
Thin hair battle
How confident are you?
Thin hair battle
Thin hair battle!!
So loud
You don't have to say it over and over. We heard you
Repeat until someone laughs
Is this okay?
To start off
we will have the electric current run through you.
So scary.
we will have the electric current run through you.
Please wait
It's already sparking
You're just saying that
It's fine
Really!?
Yes, really!
For now, we're going to have you build up all the electricity!
Nakaoka, hands behind your back.
Hands behind you.
Holy smokes!! Your hair!!
That's too scary!!
What's up with that?
Will we really be okay?
That's pretty extreme
This is too much
This is definitely dangerous!!
Let's begin. Electric Shock Sumo... Start!
I'm scared!!
Let's go!?
Ok?
Let's get going already
Let's go
Ahhh, I'm scared!!
What should we do? Are we doing it?
Yes. Go ahead
Okay... Here I go...
This ain't even a proper battle
Both of them can't do it
Draw!!
I can't stand it!!
Can't do it
Since it's a draw
we have to change players
Miyasako Hiroyuki
Team Miyasako
Cunning Takeyama
Team Fujimoto
I can't do it.
Beginning to bald battle
Purification ceremony battle
I have no relation to purification ceremonies
You did one, once
Photo-taken-in-bed battle!!
That was so many years ago!! I finished it already!!
The bed wasn't in the photo
No wait, I shouldn't say "the bed"
No, the bed was in the picture too!
It was!
The bed was in the photo
I'm the kind of guy to sleep alone
Takeyama is also the type to sleep alone
Seriously, wait a minute
I'm scared!!
Those who sleep alone in bed battle!!
What kind of battle is that?
If we are talking about sleepers then we all are
Get ready
Go Take-chan!!
Do your best, Miyasako!!
Okay, let's get the electric current going!
Will the glasses be fine?
It's fine
I can hear it sparking.
Let's start the hand-push sumo
Attention
Alright, the hand-push sumo...
Yes, loser!!
Miyasako loses!
I win! I win!
Miyasako loses!
Yes!
Wait wait, but...
The machine touched you I think?
Did it?
So what happens?
So that doesn't count, let's go again
That's scary man
Did it touch me?
I don't know who you are, but I'll kill you
Don't kill him, don't kill him
You can't say that
You can't say that!
Don't you dare touch me with that!
Miyasako-san, make sure you don't move please
Okay
Okay, let's go!
It's right behind you now, Miyasako
It's directly behind you
Alright then, here we go, Electric Shock Sumo, start!
Don't, don't, please don't!
My body would struggle with this...
Takeyama, go!
Wait, wait, wait..
Go!
Oh god...
I don't know who won...
What the hell man...
DRAW!
Battle of the ladies!!
This'll be good
We're counting on you, Ami-chan!
You can do it, Karen-chan!
Team Miyasako
Team Fujimoto
Kikuchi Ami
Takizawa Karen
It's the battle of the ladies for the third round... Who will win...
Go for it!
This is so scary
Go for it!!
Karen!!
Stop saying it like Helen would!!
T/N: Helen refers to Nishikawa Helen, who appeared in the Prison Batsu as the prison director.
Wait, wait, wait, wait
Start!
Wait, wait, please stop!
What should I do...
Go, go, go
I'm scared!
I don't want to!
Come on, go for it!
Don't do it!!
That was normal
That was just regular hand push sumo!!
Karen, what happened?
I didn't feel anything...
You should have...
The electric current was pointed at her back, right?
Wait, isn't this like seriously bad?
There was like no sound
You faked it, huh?
No, really! No, but really!
She says she didn't feel a thing, but the joke got better
She didn't feel it
Her hair is still sticking up, so she hasn't discharged the electricity
I'm serious, it may have not looked it but it all hit me at once...
Your nasty side has really come out here...
Team Fujimoto wins this round!
Team Fujimoto wins!
But seriously, it was so scary!!
Koji Maba
Shinohara Shinichi
Team Miyasako
Team Fujimoto
Last round is Koji Maba vs Shinohara Shinichi. What will happen?
Right then, if you would start with the electricity...
Battle of the cheekbones!
That's only Shinohara-san!
Right then, Electric Hand Sumo..
START
My back feels cold, my back feels cold
Seriously, it feels cold
Wait, wait, wait...
Ow damn it!
Ow!!
Watch
Ow, ow, ow
It touched my d***
He got him there!
What the hell
It really hurts...
Don't scratch it!!
Again!
Shinohara-san, stop being so scared
I think it'd be funnier if they did a "battle of the d***s"
It REALLY hurts, Matsumoto-san!!
But I'm sure it's good for your privates...
Oh man, it's coursing through me!
Nether Regions Shock Sumo start!
Slowly, okay?
Slowly...
Okay
It REALLY hurts
It really hurts
Why'd you jump off?!
Stay on there!!
Winners, Team Miyasako!
Team Miyasako wins!
Team Miyasako
Team Fujimoto
After the first round, they're tied. Who will win?!
Sharpen your nerves! Pistol Bang Bang!
Sharpen your nerves!
Pistol
Bang Bang!
What the hell is this?
First, make your right hand into a pistol and with your left hand, touch your thumb and index fingers like a target
Have your right hand as a pistol, your left hand as if it were your opponent
Sharpen your nerves! Pistol Bang Bang!!
When you hear the pistol's bang, switch your hand's poses
When you hear bang, you switch the actions on the hands
Please don't practice right now.
When you screw up the pose or can't keep up with the rhythm, you're out
When you screw up or can't keep up with the rhythm, you are OUT
The winning team will receive a huge game-changing 300 points!
Game-changer!
URRRRRUUUUFFUIIII
Since you are being noisy, I'm taking away 400 points
Sweet!
Team Fujimoto -400 points
Do it again!
This is unbearable...
First, so you know what the rhythm will be like
Junior-san will do a demonstration
Please don't practice, just watch me.
Right then, please start!
Pay attention to the rhythm
Can he do it...?
It's easy!
We can do this
I think I could do this
It's so easy...
It's SO easy...
It really is...
Oh, it gets faster...
It might be easier when it's faster
First round is Miyasako vs Takizawa. Miyasako is up first.
1st round
First
Second
Miyasako Hiroyuki
Takizawa Karen
Right then, let's get started. First up is Miyasako-san
Pistol Bang Bang... Start!
No no, not yet
Hit Count
Not yet
Out...
Scary!!
When you hear bang, you switch them...
You're out...
Wait, this is scary, hold on a minute...
Hits: 0 times
You are OUT
That's terrifying!
Takizawa-san, you are up!
What is this?!
You're kidding, I totally thought I got it
What can you actually do?..
I couldn't do it...
You are the youngest one here, okay?
Yup!
You're confident, huh?
Yup!
Well then, Pistol Bang Bang... Start!
You got this!
Don't think about anything
Hit Count
Her hands are weird...
Huh?
Good
That's good
We've already won
It's just about score now...
Point your finger at the target
Amazing
Amazing!
Winner: Takizawa Karen
I did it!
It was so easy...
Easy? It should be like this guys!
Thank you very much!
Thank you!
Hamada vs Matsumoto!!
Come on!!
First
Second
Hamada Masatoshi
Matsumoto Hitoshi
The final battle
The 54 year old Downtown battle. The deciding battle has been left to these two...
You can do this, right?
Of course!
You can do it, right?
I can!
I definitely won't lose
Right then, let's go
What score are you aiming for?
10 times
He says he's going to get 10
There's no way I'm gonna lose
Hamada-san's Pistol Bang Bang... Start!
His face is so close to his hands...
That's the face of a loser...
Hit Count
So close...
The transmission between your brain and hands is so slow!
Why don't you just do it a few times?
He looks a bit shocked...
Even if he screws up, just keep going...
In this situation...
Pistol Bang Bang, start!
Hit Count
Nope
That's enough
No no, he can still do it
It's fine!
You're doing great!
He did it!
You can do it!
THAT'S ENOUGH!
There's nothing I can do!!
Just show you can do it and let's end this!
Please do it for us!
It'd be better if he actually could do it and end this
Whew, that was funny
What are you aiming for, score wise?
I am aiming for like...
12 or 13 times, I think I can do that
You want to get into double digits for sure
Right then, Matsumoto-san's Pistol Bang Bang... Start
We're counting on you
Hit Count
What?!
See...
That's the worst so far
It's you at the fish market!
T/N: He's referring to how it looks like Matsumoto is bidding for tuna at the fish market
He's at the fish market!
Who's at the damn fish market!
He's bidding!
That's just weird...
The first bid...
Let's make him do it a few times
Okay, let's do it again
That was the worst so far
Come on now...
Just let me carry on trying!!
Just let me carry on, okay?
He looks like he became a Visual Kei band member
T/N: Visual Kei refers to a Japanese music/fashion style that was popular in the 90s. Bands/artists like Dir En Gray, Malice Mizer, and Miyavi are some examples. Many photos feature Visual Kei artists with unusual hand gestures.
Right then, let's go
Just let me carry on
Pistol Bang Bang... Start!
Hit Count
What is this?
He can do it if it's on that side
He screwed up...
Your face... Come on
What are you even doing?
He's just messing around!
He was totally messing around!
THE END!
And with that!
You're both old men!!