Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: (This Part): solar BabyStand BakaDollie Typesetters (This Part): Nigel tommysenarii Andrew Grice Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: Konohana Niji John Dread EcksDee Oolong
And now I will decide on the anchor
Amazing, this is amazing
Here we have the peerless and aggressive comedian, who plays the straight man
This person who has been called a roadside hyena, Hamada Masatoshi
According to one theory, this man meets with friends night after night
such as with people like Yonekura Ryoko, or perhaps Yanagiba Toshiro
and Maekawa Kiyoshi
It was rumoured he was able to nab explosive laughter from them by doing impressions
T/N: Yonekura Ryoko is an actress, Yanagiba Toshiro is an actor, and Maekawa Kiyoshi is a singer. Basically, Hamada has big-name celebrity friends.
No, no, no
These rumours came in via Israel's intelligence agency Mossad
I didn't do it
Well then, IKKO has been getting popular again so
let's have you challenge doing an impression of IKKO
Come on
Wow, how dirty
3 2 1 Start!!
What the hell~
T/N: IKKO is a stylist/make-up artist/tv personality who is famous for saying "dondake~" while waving a finger. "Dondake~" was nominated as a buzzword in 2007. It means, "How much?!" as a surprise reaction to something of a large amount or quantity.
How's that?
How was that?
Oh, I hear some laughter coming from part of the gallery
Yes, it was definitely funny
But it did not reach the funny level you would call explosive
In this strange atmosphere that has arisen,
I wish to add some more color to this director room
I'll show you what real impressions look like
Come on out!!
What? What?
Well, well, well
Research Institute, Researcher
Hollywood Zakoshisyoh
T/N: Hollywood Zakoshisyoh is a comedian who has appeared in many dramas, variety shows, radio shows, and web series. His comedian name is inspired by Hollywood Hulk Hogan.
All right!
No way?!
All right!
Wait, seriously?!
Whoa...
You gotta be kidding
All right!
Director's style of greetings
He will show them what a real impression looks like
All right!
Right!
Well, shall we start?
First we'll do an overly exaggerated IKKO
Overly exaggerated
IKKO
Oh-oh-oh-oh
T/N: This is one of his signature lines.
Ghooos!!
What on earth?
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ghooos!!
What's that?
What's he doing?
Are you serious?
Seriously
What are you doing?
Really, Furutachi-san, what are you doing?
What are you doing, seriously?
We'll move on to the next one. Next is this
T/N: They are doing an impression of the song, "PERFECT HUMAN" by RADIO FISH, a dance/vocal unit with the same members of comedy duo, Oriental Radio.
Let's go with overly exaggerated PERFECT HUMAN
Overly exaggerated
PERFECT HUMAN
T/N: "Nakata" is the name of one of the comedians in comedy duo Oriental Radio. He actually is singing the song.
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! Na ka ta!
I'mma perrrrfect human
Weeeeeeee
live in Tokyo
Na ka ta! Na ka ta!
I'mma perrrfect human
Ghooos!!
What the hell?
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! Na ka ta!
I'm a perrr
fect human
Weeee live in Tokyo
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! I'm a perrrfect
You're the director, right?
human
Thank you very much for watching
Ghooos!!
You're the director, right?
That's right
After you guys take this hit
I expect you to keep things exciting
Good luck!
Thank you very much
Thank you
Let's go
Wow, that was amazing...
He sure was energetic
That director..
It's supposed to be archaeology, but it's really lacking in that department
Completely lacking
We all got hurt
Thank you very much
Oh no, thank you very much
No need to show this scene!!
1 hour and 30 minutes since the start
It's time for the curtain to rise on that segment
Could learn from that
The drawers. Shouldn't we open them?
Shall we?
Right
You said it, finally
It's that time
No, but...
We should think about the order in which we open
There's no way there's nothing inside the drawers
Hamada, let's start from you
What?
Seriously?
This year's top batter is Hamada
How about starting from the top?
There are times when it gets scary
True, there's probably a pattern there. Quite traumatic
Ahh, there's stuff inside!!
Look, there's something in there right off the bat
Looks like some kind of ancient paper
Mysterious ancient manuscript and key
Whoa, whoa
What, what?
Seems it's only this paper and there's something written on it
What's this?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After opening the wall of heroes with the antique key
and proving your brave spirit via the devil's mouth
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A strong golden fortune will come to dwell within you
The keyhole lies beneath the Goddess statue
It's using rather difficult expressions
"Strong golden fortune"...
I think that's it
Hamada-san...
-----------
Goddess statue
Oh!
Is that it?
"A strong golden fortune will come to dwell within you"
What does that mean?
"A strong golden fortune will come to dwell"...
Huh? It's this one right?
Yes
Whaaaa!!
Urgh, it's scary!!
Scary
It's scary
Huh?
The Mouth of Truth
That's a "Mouth of Truth"
"Prove your brave spirit via the devil's mouth. A strong golden fortune will come to dwell within you"
It's "your brave spirit"!!
Oh! You're supposed to put your hand inside that?
Yeah
So that's how it is
Scary!
However, only Hamada can do it
Yes
That's right
What!! Why is this first?
Scary, scary...
A strong golden fortune will dwell within you
What if I get an electric shock or something like that...?
I don't think there will be such childish tricks
like electric shocks given this elaborate set-up
Really?
Yeah
You just have to do it
Right, you just have to do it
Ahh... This is scary
It's scary
This is seriously scary
Scary
What should I do!!
Scary, scary
Do you hear a "sa sa sa" kind of sound?
Is it his hand making that sound?
Near the Mouth of Truth
Wah, wah, his hand went in
What's this?
Wait, what's this?
I can feel a liquid flowing
A mysterious liquid is on his hand
Liquid is flowing?
What is this?
Take your hand out
Some kind of liquid?
Something's on my hand but what is it?
Urgh it smells!!
It smells so badly!
It smells!!
Ah, so smelly!!
Really stinky!!
What do you mean by smelly?
It really smells
What? What?
What the hell?
It really is quite smelly
What's that smell?
But Matsumoto-san, we don't know what smell it is
It's certainly smelly though
What's that smell?
It stinks!!
What kind of smell is this?
What's this?
It smells
It's like, well...
It can't be a smell from the crotch area, right?
What is it then?
I think, perhaps, it might be...
Isn't it poop?
Pfft!!
No, I don't think that's right?
But
It's true!
Right, I get it
Yeah
It's "A strong golden fortune" so... It's the smell of poop
T/N: The Japanese word for fortune is "un" while the word for poop is "unko". So this is a play on words.
The smell of poop now dwells on Hamada
Horrible
T-There's poop on that hand right?
I really hate this
What on earth are they doing?
There's poop on Hamada-san's hand
That's a bad way of phrasing things
This is horrible, really
Really
smelly!!
I want to wipe it off, I want to wipe it off...
This is bad. You should go wash it off
It smells!
There's... Um...
Air freshener!!
That's right, there's air freshener
Oh, I see
Once I wipe my hand, spray this
That's...
Spray that hand of his that's holding poop...
I'm not holding poop
What are you doing, spraying so much...
He used the air freshener to drench my hand...
Hamada, it's because you smell of poop
No, no, no
This is the worst
How is it now?
He's sprayed my hand so I'm going to wipe it now
Someone open their drawers next
Whaaat?
This is really messed up
Yeah, it's quite messed up
It was actually poop
Using poop on New Year's eve...
Using tricks like that...
That's a bit much
Shall I go next?
Go on
I'll start opening
Aren't you going to do PERFECT HUMAN?
No, it's fine
Oh?
Hey
Something's gonna appear
Scary
There's something!
Mysterious DVD
It's appeared!
DVD?
A DVD over in Endo's drawers...
Tanaka usually gets the DVDs right?
My drawers only had this
Whaat?
The DVDs always led to Thai Kicks for me but it might happen to Endo this time
9 years in a row, DVDs gave him
Thai Kicks
Hotel
Spy
Airport
Teacher
EDF
Prison
Detective
Scientist
Police
Isn't it better if you do your impression of PERFECT HUMAN?
No, I won't do PERFECT HUMAN
What are we doing about that? Or should we take a look at Tanaka's drawers?
Having DVDs in his drawers isn't impossible
That's right, because that's how it is
Seems complicated
I'll just take a look
I'll open my drawers
Perhaps there will be different things in his drawers
If there's no DVD, that brings up a lot of questions, but if there is a DVD, then that's also...
Ahh!!
It's here
Whoa, whoa!
DVD!
Mysterious DVD
There was a DVD inside
But there's no numbers or anything so
The DVDs are not in order, right?
It doesn't matter which goes first
Right, right
What does it mean?
They might not be related
Whoa!
Huh?!
A letter...
Mysterious envelope
Wow, it's thick
Seems here's quite a number of things inside
Yeah, looks like there's a lot of things inside
Huh? No way!
Oh, there's nothing in here
Why's this empty!!
He just laughed
I didn't laugh!
Every time...
Wait, what are we gonna now?
Yeah, really
That's amazing
What should we do?
Wait, just... What should we do with these, I wonder?
Endo, isn't it better if you do your PERFECT HUMAN -----------------Linebreak----------------------------------------------------- impression now?
For the moment
PERFECT HUMAN...
Seriously, seriously
3 2 1 Go!!
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! Perfect Human!
GHOOIIIS!!
It's weird that I get an "OUT"
I definitely shouldn't be out
Your laugh is different than that
Yes
That's not how I laugh...
That was a permissible laugh
It wasn't a laugh, more like smiling from embarrassment
Shall we go from Endo?
Yes, one by one
Sure
Right
We'll go in order
There will be too many items
Wait, either way
Yeah
There really are a lot
I'm not sure how to break it up
Oooh no
No no no, it's DVD, oh no
Right? It used to be magazines
Right?
Yeah...
I'm scared...
Thai kicks are the worst...
Appearance OK Derby
We had this last year too
Will celebrities dress up and perform for us?
Their reactions will be recorded by hidden cameras
Who will they dress up as!?
T/N: Yancy and Mariconne are comedians who are known for their dancing and guitar-based skits.
Yancy & Mariconne
Here's the bit they'll perform
Ready?
Limbo dance under the guitar challenge
Look
1, 2, 3
Yes
LIMBO!!
That's bad
LIMBO!!
The guitar hit her breasts, so she's mad
T/N: Their skit is a combination of English and Japanese. "Oppai" is Japanese for "boobs" and "pai" is the shortened version. They are not saying, "You touch my pie."
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
LIMBO!!
Will be playing the role of Mariconne
After seeing the rhythmic limbo dance
They'll really do this?
We will have them play the role of Mariconne
Three celebrities have entered the race!
Three celebrities have entered this race!
Who will consent to this performance!?
So, who will consent to this performance?
Who will it be?
Welcome
First up is
Thank you for coming
Thanks for having me
Who?
Thank you
Fumie Hosokawa
Her 1990
Debut
In 1990
She debuted wielding her F-cup bust
F-cup
bust
A big boob idol originator
As an originator of big boob idols
She led the world of gravure
Right right right
The number of times her photos have been published-
Her published photos number over 1 million!
is over 1 million!
Even now, she has an impeccable figure
Fumie Hosokawa's appearance negotiation!
We will negotiate her appearance!
Have you ever worked with Downtown?
Yes, I think so
Looks like she's gotten thinner
What are your thoughts on Hosei?
Hosei is-
Since he was in a duo with Hiromitsu Noriyasu,
Yes yes yes
Fumie remembers very well
Yeah
While he was on the radio for Young Town,
Oh, that's right
While he was on the radio for Young Town,
There was a time he took care of me
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
Eh?
What made you laugh?
The lady beside her...
Watch her
I saw her too
I blocked her so I wouldn't look
You get it
The manager-looking lady?
Yes
Look Here
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
No no no no
No way
I saw it by accident...
That's no good, seriously...
She was probably...
Come on
She was surprised
You don't have to say that!!
Yes, please don't do that
"Why are you laughing?" was your question
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
How many times are we going to watch this?
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
This
Has nothing to do with anything at all!
Completely unrelated
Unrelated, right?
Well, that's
The focus is wrong!!
Oh come on
Moving on
Now the question we've been wanting to ask
Hosokawa, as an assassin of laughter, would you
Please dress up and perform for us?
I love it! Doing that stuff!!
Cut that out of the frame!!
Cut it out!
No!
Put a paper over that half!!
Cover it with paper
Give me a break already
Why would you even film him?
Just
(The monitor) Cover it with paper, please!!
We don't need to see all of her reactions!
Ahh
It's all Hamada's fault for pointing it out in the first place, if he hadn't we wouldn't be out
That's right
The part you'd be playing is this...
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
LIMBO!
What do you think?
I'm worried about what people will think
Negotiation Complete
That's fair
Hello
Good morning
Our next negotiation is with this person
It's her
Thanks for having me
Mika Ahn
Her Paris Fashion Week debut at 20 years old!
At the age of 20, she had her Paris Fashion Week debut!
Fashion Brand Producer
Producing her own fashion brand
She sells it on her infomercial programs
In a single day her sales are hundreds of millions of yen!
In a single day she sells for hundreds of millions of yen!
The queen of TV shopping
The queen of producing
The queen of TV shopping
The queen of producing
She does what she wants
What's your impression of Downtown?
Well, that's-
Since I can remember, I grew up in Kansai
My hometown was like a sister city to theirs, too
I see
I love them, they're like lovable big brothers
How do you feel about Tsukitei Hosei-san?
Well, uh
I worked with him for a Kansai-based online shopping program
His face was so dang cute
His face was so dang cute, and I like otaku types
T/N: "Otaku" refers to geeky/nerdy people who are very obsessed with a particular hobby. People tend to associate otakus with anime, but it can be any hobby.
He seems like the type to collect all sorts of stuff, right?
Milk caps for instance
At last, the question
This is who you would play
Oh looks cute~
Would you watch this clip once?
Oh okay so
Where will she limbo? Under the guitar?
You touch my 'oob!
LIMBO!
What is this!!
We would like you to just do the dancing, if possible...
Just? Just...
Since I produce many kinds of products
I have to be careful not to affect the product's image
Negotiation Complete
Of course
Our next negotiation is with this person
Thank you for coming
Yes
It's her!
Tomoko Fujita
1988 TV miniseries
Non-chan's Dream
At 23 years old
In 1988
Her amazing debut on the NHK morning drama,
Non-chan's Dream, launched her career
Making It Through
Playing Nagako
Over 20 years
After that, in the national drama
"Making It Through"
That's right
she played the Okakura house's fifth daughter, Nagako
for over 20 years
Since her debut, she's worked in dramas, movies, and theater
Tomoko Fujita's appearance negotiations!
This is the character
Do you know it?
I'm not familiar, I'm sorry
Who's doing it?
The video reveals the joke
She reviews the video
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
That's not limbo though
Really?
This version of the limbo isn't what you expected?
Not at all!!
It's kind of perverted
Since it's perverted, I'm not sure...
I'm not sure...
What to do...
Negotiation Complete
The one taking on the role of Mariconne
Who will it be!?
Endo-san, please tell us who it will be within 5 seconds!
Ah!
That's what it's about
If Endo gets this wrong it'll be trouble
It will be Mika Ahn
Mika Ahn
Wooo yeah yeah yeah yeah!
The correct answer is revealed
Thank you! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!
Yancy
Shinya Matsuura
We are Yancy aaaaannnnnndddd
Mika Ahn
T/N: She's pronouncing her name as "Mikannu" to sound similar with the Japanese pronunciation of Mariconne, which is "Marikonnu".
Oh you were right
I was
Everybody! Do you like limbo?
That's a lot of makeup...
Anmicanne
Mika Ahn
Oh wow
She's really going for it
What happened?
What are you doing?
You touch my 'oob!!
No touch your 'oob!!
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!!
LIMBO!!
Amazing
It's really good actually!!
It's too good
Amazing
Let's try again!
Fumiennu
Fumie Hosokawa
Fumiennu~♥
LIMBO!!
Oh it's like that
NEXT STAGE!!
No, up!!
She called in backup!
No, up!!
She demands he raise the guitar
She jumped and hit her breasts
You touch my 'oob!!
Jumping 'oob!!
'oob!!
Jumping 'oob!!
'oob!!
You touch my 'oob!
Jumping 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
Jumping 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
Jumping 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!!
LIMBO!!
Let's try again!
Unexpectedly, they all agreed
Tomoconne
Tomoko Fujita
Next stage
Come on!
My hip boom boom boom
Passing with the hips strategy
Not my 'oob
GOOD IDEA YAAY!!!
So....
Ready 1 2 3 LIMBO
Boom boom boom
Be careful
Boom boom boom boom be careful
Her boobs end up hitting it
You touched my 'oob
You touch my 'oob!
At the end she walked into it with her boobs !!
Rolling 'oob! Rolling 'oob!
You touch 'oob
Rolling 'oob
You touch 'oob
Rolling 'oob
'oob 'oob 'oob
'oob 'oob 'oob 'oob Limbo!
Amazing...
'oob 'oob 'oob
Boing boing boing
Boom boom boom boom
They sure practiced this
'oob 'oob 'oob 'oob boing boing boing boing boom boom boom boom
It was all of them
I don't think anyone would've guessed it right
Not for sure, man...
We've had the Appearance OK Derby since last year
We have, we have
Matsumoto still hasn't checked
Either Tanaka deals with his first or Matsumoto check his drawer
Either Tanaka deals with his first or Matsumoto checks his drawer
How about it?
Shall I open the drawers?
There are two left though
There's nothing inside
There's nothing inside...
Really?
Both?
This one's the last
Then it's got to be that one
Ahh...
Of course, there it is
There's no way there's nothing
There's quite a lot in there
This looks complicated
Yes, it does
It looks kind of difficult doesn't it?
Ugh, what is this?
First off, this
A switch
And then this
Glasses
What is this... Bobbed hair
A bobbed hair wig
A letter
T/N: Hyokkorihan is a comedian whose gag is to do a peek-a-boo style joke where he hides his face behind something to the timing of his song and then reveals his face.
Hyokkorihan Set
This is a funny set that will
allow you to become Hyokkorihan
Ah, you're so lucky
There are 3 options: one time, three times, and seven times
It will not stop until the person using the set will make people within the room laugh.
This is hell
Eh? I have to do this? Me?
Yes
Of course
But if we laugh it'll be over right away
If you skillfully make us snicker
snicker
If you skillfully make us snicker
Because we're allies after all
There isn't a good place to do this though
Yeah
I guess over there is fine
Please make a decision
Facing back and then turning towards us or anything works
I'll do it outside then
Endo can you push the one time button?
Sure. Just the one time?
Yeah, will you push the one time button?
Alright, got it
The first attempt is important
The first attempt is important, yeah?
The freshness
If you're done preparing, just let us know
I'm ready
Here we go!
This is when we should all cooperate together...
Was it really that unfunny?
Maybe it's cause we couldn't really see your face
It would've been better if you'd show off more
Yeah this direction
Understood
Then, I'll do it three times
With just one time I couldn't really get the timing
Yeah, that figures
Yeah, yeah yeah
The face is important, the face
Since it's the same pattern
Okay, here we go
What?
Man, I didn't do anything bad though
You're laughing aren't you
This means I made someone laugh, right?
This is wrong though
No, no, no
What do you mean?
No, we laughed at something else
If we don't laugh during Hyokkori Han, it doesn't count
Is it even possible to get it right?
Should we try seven times?
No, no no
With Hyokkori Han...
Hamada-san, you could do it just by wearing the glasses
I'm not wearing this wig to be like Hyokkori Han
Yeah, but using the door is the correct way, right?
Why do I have to do this, it's Matsumoto's thing isn't it?
It's just seven times
Seven times is impossible though
You just do the Hyokkori face reveal
But I didn't have confidence doing it seven times either
The three times one almost got me though
Oh really?
So you gotta do it right
Sit down, sit down...
What a jerk
Hey, make the noise!!
I was waiting forever!
Seriously, such a jerk
You're right
My bad, my bad
It suits you doesn't it
It so totally suits you
What the hell are you guys doing?
I'm on standby reluctantly
Hey Endo, go and fix up his bowtie
Your bowtie is off
That's right... it's important
That's very important
Okay, it's all good now
But you're starting to really look the part
Wish I could've seen it for the first time in action
It really suited him
What a jerk
Tsk!!
Make the noise!!
The way you came out was just like Hyokkori Han
You're doing the Hyokkori Han
You're doing the real thing
But maybe it's a bit off
But should the DVD go first or the envelope?
This really doesn't feel like a letter
Let's take a look shall we?
Yeah, well of course
If we don't deal with it
This is a bit heavy
There's cards...
What?
Isn't this a tarot card set?
Mysterious cards
Are there instructions?
No, there aren't
Nothing, not even a letter
Then, the DVD!!
Do these go together then?
Yeah cause with just that you can't understand
Yeah, you're right. I don't get this by itself
I can't figure this out, what is this?
From the drawer, these cards!
Tanaka approaches the Thai Kick,
fair and square!
Instead of making it unreasonable, Tanaka will approach the Thai kick, fair and square
Using five cards
this will be a psychological warfare card battle!
These cards taken from the drawer!
Tanaka approaches the Thai Kick,
fair and square!
Instead of making it unreasonable, Tanaka will approach the Thai kick, fair and square
Using five cards
this will be a psychological warfare card battle!
The opponent and Tanaka will wage war with these 5 cards
Within those cards, there are 4 safe cards and 1 out card
There are 4 safe cards and 1 out card, for a total of 5 cards
First, the opponent selects a card, either safe or out
The first to put down a card is the opponent
Keep the card facing down and place it on the field
Then Tanaka follows by selecting a card and placing it on the field
The possible combinations are:
Safe and safe
Safe and out
Out and out
3 possibilities
First, in the case of safe and safe
If both cards are safe
It's a draw
Continuing from there
From the remaining 4 cards, the game continues to the next round
From the remaining cards, the game continues to the next round
Next, if someone puts down an out card, ending in a safe and out card
If one card is an out regardless of who put it down, in that case
This means Tanaka wins
Tanaka's victory!
Thai kick completely avoided!
No Thai kick for Tanaka and the game is over!
But the problem is...
If it's out and out!
If it's an out and out case
This means the opponent wins
The opponent's victory
Tanaka loses
Thai kick is the punishment
And he gets a Thai kick as the punishment
But this is...
The chances are slim
Yeah, they are
The opponent puts the card out first
But only in the case that both use an out card, will there be a Thai kick
Tanaka has the overwhelming advantage
Reading and predicting your opponent's card order
Key Point
Reading the opponent's mind
And predicting when they'll play the out card is the key!
The opponent in this competition is...