Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: BakaDollie BabyStand Shion Kenny Shizentaisuu Carley G. EcksDee Solarwings Typesetters: papi's bolgy-wolgy-yummy-cummies Sacro pencillover12 carebu kannibleklown Nigel Spencer Hamilton Textualpoacher Vladimir Krasiy tommysenarii Elestriel Andrew Grice Caleb Barrett Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: John Dread
That wasn't funny, but...
You should've gotten OUT
Look, as expected...
The facility's staff have all been gathered here in a familiar environment
It's already been found so does it matter?
Ow ow ow...
Whew
Once again...
Everyone
Head researcher
Hakata Daikichi
This is a great find of this century
The cursed mummy which that infamous John Wood III stole from the Hipopo tribe
Yes, that cursed mummy has been discovered
The Hipopo tribe's cursed mummy has been discovered!!
Good for you
I wasn't the one who discovered the cursed mummy
It was discovered by a highly reputable independent treasure hunter. Here he comes!
Well, we all know what happens once this music plays...
Yeah
God damn!
Independent Treasure Hunter
Chono Masahiro
barges in!!
What the hell?
Why is he angry?
They've found it already, right?
I don't get it...
Yeah
This time
I unearthed
the mummy which cursed John Wood III to death
This mummy is very dangerous
Hey, bring that in
The cursed mummy is moved in
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How did the thief even steal that thing?
Inside this, there exists the
mummy of Hipopo tribe, which cursed John Wood III to death
According to our research, we understand that
the Hipopo tribe's curse
is passed down to descendants, generation to generation
And
We have an important announcement here
Among the treasure hunters here
There is someone who has inherited the mummy's curse
that is, we understand that he is a descendant
Among the treasure hunters present, there is a descendant
We must find that descendant
and end the chain of curses
Hey!
Among the people here, there's a descendant of the Pipopo tribe
Chono-san, it's Hipopo tribe
Shut up
"Shut up"
Hey!
Who is it?
No one's speaking up?
Someone tell him
Hey!!
We'll use that method!!
Yes
Hey!
The search for the descendant who inherited the curse... What method will be used?!
Now, we will undo the bandages on the cursed mummy
From investigating his body-shape and facial structure
the descendant can be found easily
Chono-san
Method for finding the descendant
Undoing the mummy's bandages to confirm the body's shape and face
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Please undo the bandages
We won't know if we don't unwrap his face
That's right
Come on, please don't do this
Yeah, I agree
Like an unexpected twist or anything like that
Seriously, come on...
He has hair
There's no knowing yet
SECRET
There's no knowing yet
The one who has a similar face to this mummy is the descendant
We all knew it'd be him though
Well, yeah
Yeah
Hey you, Hamada, who is this?
Yes
Who is this?
I think that's probably Yamasaki...
No it is not!!
That's Hamada!!
He looks exactly like Hamada!
You're stretching it
No matter how I look at him, he looks like Hamada!!
You're wrong
That's definitely Hosei
Come over here right in front of this mummy!!
That's your face
No, it's totally different
Go there and if it's not you then
Yeah
you can clear the air
This year
you definitely have to tell them that's not you
Lining up next to the mummy to be interrogated
This is you!
No, he doesn't look like me at all
His hair's also totally different from mine...
The chain of curses has been continuing
Do you get it?
Where is this curse from? What country is it from?
From the Hipopo tribe
Oh, then you've got the wrong person
Because I'm from Saga prefecture!!
T/N: Saga prefecture is in the northwest part of the island of Kyushu. Except Hosei is actually from Hyogo prefecture, so not sure why he's saying he's from Saga.
You liar! Of all things though, why would you lie about that??
Right?
What was I thinking?
Why not just go with Hyogo prefecture?
Why Saga prefecture?
Saga?!
I'm from Saga prefecture, my dad's from Saga prefecture
When did it become the Hipopo tribe?
Huh?!
You have been cursed!!
Me?
You want to break the curse right?
Yes, I want to break the curse
Do you want to know how to break it?
I want to know!!
The Sacred Slap
He actually said it
It's all the same in the end
Look
I want to free you
from the curse
That curse will spread
even to your friends
over there
We don't want that
Do you understand?
We'd be troubled by that
Yes, we don't want the curse
I will carry the cross
and watch over what will happen to them
What the hell are you saying?
Don't play stupid!
"What the hell are you saying?"
What the heck was he saying?
He was told "What the hell are you saying?"
There is another way
Hey! Bring that in!!
What was brought in was the Golden Holy Grail
Method for breaking the curse
Pour Holy Water into the Golden Holy Grail and drink all of it
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They say pouring Holy Water into the grail and drinking it all will break the curse
Good news for Hosei this year
No need for a slap this year
That means if I drink this water...
That's right
Really?
It's true
Will you do it?
Yes! I'll do it!
Thanks
Thank you very much!!
Thank you
That sounds good
Good luck!!
Good luck!
Filling the Golden Holy Grail with Holy Water
That's a lot
That seems impossible...
It probably contains around 2 liters?
T/N: 2 liters is roughly half a gallon for those who use freedom Imperial units.
That's quite...
You just need to finish drinking the Holy Water
If I really manage to finish drinking, there will be no slap
That's right
You must drink it all in one go!!
With this Holy Water, once you stop, it won't work even if you retry
In order to avoid the slap, he must drink it all in one go
Do you get it?
Yes
Okay, now recite "Oh curse, be gone" 3 times
Then you drink
Okay
You can do it
Okay
Oh curse, be gone
In a loud voice!
And then one more time!
Oh curse, be gone!!
Oh curse, be gone
In a loud voice!
And then one more time!
Oh curse, be gone!!
Wait a sec, what the hell are you doing?
The Holy Grail is unexpectedly heavy
Well, yeah...
He said it so casually...
T/N: Hamada is referring to Chono's Japanese being in a rude and harsh casual way of speaking towards Hosei.
It was funny
"Wait a sec, what the hell are you doing?" Pfft...
He already knows, right?
It was heavier than I thought it would be
Try carrying it up
up from below like this
Right, that's it
That's right
Do it like that. Here
Okay
Good luck
Yes
Do you get it?
Yes!
You're doing great
Don't spit it back out!
You can do it
You can do it!
Don't spill it, c'mon, Hosei!!
Stop! Stop!
Bleurgh
It's an impossible task
Just how much water does it hold?
Hosei, wait just a sec
It got all over his face...
He's all soaked through though
The next failure won't be tolerated
Got it
Do it in one go!!
In one go!!
All right!
Yes!
Again!
All right!!
I drank it all!! I drank it all!!
All right!!
I drank it all!! I drank it all!!
What the hell?
I finished drinking it all!
What a pathetic man
All right!
Hell yeah!!
The curse is gone!!
Thank you very much!!
Hey wait. Wait a sec, I say!!
What are you gonna do about this?
This is Holy Water, y'know!!
What do you think?
"What do you think?"
What do you think?
"What do you think?"
That was an impossible task. I appreciate your effort
But I said it had to be in one go, didn't I?
Burp
Come back up
This hasn't changed anything
To release the curse the Holy Slap is required
You'll be taking it
Got it?
Wait a minute
What's up?
He (Tanaka) is the culprit
That
Wha-?
What does he mean "culprit"?
What is "culprit" even supposed to mean?
Hey, you Hipopo descendant! Get over here!!
Why is he a Hipopo?
I'm not a Hipopo
So, which tribe are you from?
I don't...
OH, YOU WON'T TELL US!!
You won't tell us, because you're a Hipopo!!
I'M GONNA KICK YOU TO DEATH, ASSHOLE!!
What are you talking about?
He's not killing anyone!
What position does he think he's in?
He looks like one
But I'm not
Seriously, what are they talking about
Hosei
No, I'm not!
This planet, this world, and everyone in it is depending on you!
What do you think?
Each tell wadju...
What do you think?
Stop yapping and just get it over with already!
Each of you tell me what you think!!
This is so annoying
I don't understand the question, either
It really is different this year
Isn't it?
Yes
You're our only hope
Nn...
Okay
Nnn...
Right
Because he's a hero!!
This time at least
Not very heroic, though
He's a hero!
Let's go
Nn...
Hey!
Yes
Now, I will expel the curse!
Yes
Now, I will expel the curse!
yeah- okay
Okay?
Finally the moment of the Holy Slap
Let's go!
Drive it out!
The curse!
One
Two
SLAP
Three!
SLAP
Three!
The curse-expelling Holy Slap explodes!!
SLAP
It was good this time
That was clean
GODDAMN
That was a good slap~
He got him good
What a good slap
That was good
This year was a good slap for sure
It went "smack!"
That air time was pretty good, too
That expression, too
It's a new day
16 hours since the beginning
A bothersome incident erupts
Everyone
This is important
They discovered some buried treasure and now the wild exploration team and the savage pirates are fighting
The precious archaeological site could be destroyed
Could you mediate the situation?
Alright, let's go!!
After discovering buried treasure
the pirates and exploration team have created an explosive situation
We're going
I don't really...
He really wants to, huh?
He really wants to
The 5 get on the bus, hurrying to the scene
Ow ow ow ow
Even on the bus, Matsumoto's worries continue to brew...
Are you really that worried?
I AM worried!!
When we get there, do you think we'll even be able to do anything?
What are you saying, we don't have any other choice!
If we can somehow negotiate with them, we can't pass up that opportunity
What are you thinking?
What are you thinking? Seriously...
What are you thinking?
Seriously, what are you thinking??
Seriously...
Seriously, what are you thinking?
Seriously!!
What are you thinking
Since they were in transit, there was no punishment
That was an incredible waste of effort
Pirate hideout
That's really noisy
They fight like this every year
You guys!! You're crazy!!
The mood is dangerously tense
We're serious!
HEY UESHIMA!!
Degawa Squad Leader Degawa Tetsuro
That buried treasure is ours, damnit
It doesn't belong to you asshole pirates
Yeah that's right!
GOT IT ASSHOLE?
If you punks are going to talk like that
Ueshima Squad Leader Ueshima Ryuhei
Why don't you idiots put your lives on the line for it?
Bring it!
A reaction showdown!!
Instagrammable, this year is Instagrammable!!
Averaging 46 years old, a bunch of comedians!?
A battle of pride begins with their body on the line
Returning this year
The comedians' showdown with their body on the line
Begins!
We're gonna beat the shit out of you!
That's my line, shithead!
Harada Ryuuji is in there
Ueshima Squad Harada Ryuuji
T/N: Harada Ryuuji is a famous actor who played in roles like Kikaider Reboot and the Aibou movies.
Oh wow, it really is
For real?
Who would've thought he'd be here?
This time we'll show you the spirit of the pirates!
He's the first one ready for battle
HEY HEY HEY
The sea level is rising, assholes!
He got ready super fast
Aren't you stripping?
Oh give it a rest
We're waiting for you!
Can we start things off on our side?
Degawa Squad Adviser Komoto Junichi
Bring it out!
Yeah!
Nice, here it comes~
Alright let's go!
Let's go
Now
Using these two halves of a bowl, within 1 minute
Degawa Squad's Pride
Within 1 minute , use this perfectly split bowl
to eat an entire bowl of piping hot soup without spilling any
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You must eat an entire bowl of piping hot pork soup without spilling
That's impossible!
The name is
Eat from a bowl that's split-in-half!!
Degawa Squad Haranishi Takayuki
The most passionate- Haranishi!
Come on up!
Our fighting spirit is on another level,
I'll show you how it's done!!
Firmly hold it (the bowl) together!!
I am!
Eat all the pork soup!!
I've got it!
Okay, here we go!
More?
Fill it
Still more?
Hot!
Are you good? You going?
You got it!
No way!
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
Keep going, you can do it!
HOT!!
They keep saying how crazy hot it is, though
HOT HOT
What are they doing?
HARANISHI, THAT'S NOT HOT!!
It's not hot!
Haranishi, you can do it!
UWAAAAAAA
HOOOOT!
IT'S HOT!
Of course it is
We told you it was hot!
It is what it is!!
Good try Haranishi!
Only Haranishi could do that
They say that like they have no choice...
Degawa Squad Komoto Junichi
Ueshima Squad Iwao Nozomu
1v1 Showdown
Next, Komoto and Iwao face off head-to-head
In 2 minutes, they must score a goal using the cleats tied to their waist
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Waist-Tie Soccer Match
Using the cheaply made cleats hanging from their waists
They will play a game of soccer against their opponent
Time limit is 2 minutes- you ready?
Get him, Komoto!
Yeah, you've got this!
You go!
That's good
Yeah, go for it!
That's not good
It's going, it's going!
What the hell is this?
GO KOMOTO!
GO GO GO!
He finally hit it
GO GO GO
What is this?
Shoot it in!!
His back...
He looks so tense
Oh no...
You can do it!
Oh no
Keep going!
Looks rough
Is it really that difficult to play?
That's definitely hard
He hasn't moved at all from there!!
For real
He isn't moving at all
What is he doing?
You can do it!
Okay, let's go
Komoto with a leg cramp
Get a goal!
You can do it!
Iwao has a chance
owowowowowow
Iwao has a chance!
He does
One on one!
What the hell...
That was a good fight!
This battle ends in a draw, it seems
NICE FIGHT NICE FIGHT
That was no good
Jun-chan has really gotten himself in quite the situation
It still hasn't stopped at all!
What is happening to him?
He's cramped up
It's a cramp
He's even good when he's cramping
Aquarium-Head Challenge
Next, the one taking on the aquarium-head challenge
Hey, new guy!
Yup!!
Our new guy is buff, huh
He's always craving high quality protein
With an aquarium on his head-
With his head in an aquarium, he'll eat all of the raw eggs
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Ueshima Squad's Pride
If we drop in raw eggs, he'll eat it all up
There's no way!!
No way
Can you?
Yeah
You can, huh
Why though?
Why isn't the new guy saying anything?
Why?
You ready, new guy?
Let's go!
How about it, new guy?
You want some protein?
He's scared of it!
They're putting in eggs?
① Add water up to the mouth and take a breath
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They stopped quickly, huh
Once he takes a breath we'll finish filling it
Don't chicken out!
② Add the rest of the water, and then a raw egg
Ready, set
Eat all 5 eggs, now
Eat it! Eat it, asshole!
It'd be great if he got it
Eat it!
Oh no
He lost it
He got one, though~
He got it in
Great stuff
Alright
How about that
It's about time for this year's first look!!
What's that?
Bring it out!!
What is it?
The hell is that?
Wow~ That's a huge contraption
Something amazing came out
How do you react?
Costing 2,000,000 yen -------- Human Centrifuge Machine
T/N: 2,000,000 yen is roughly $18,536.
Equipped with 8 CO2 cylinders
By jet power, a great deal of rotational speed is produced
Degawa Squad
Komiya Hironobu
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Degawa Squad's Pride---------
He'll eat an entire bowl of piping hot New Years soba while it gyrates
The five view from special seats
Komiya's preparations are complete!!
Piping hot New Years soba coming right up!
Let's do it!
Wait
Hang on
Wait a second
You got this?
Let's do it!!
How will it rotate?
Alright!
Hell yeah!
There's no way I'd do this
This is insane
Is this okay?
IZ HOT
"Iz hot"?
He's actually eating it!
He's pretty good, right?
Wait
Is he eating it all?
IT'S HOT!!
Stop~
Very nice
That's was scary
You really did it
Great job Komiya
Amazing...
Ueshima Squad
Abareru-kun
While spinning, he'll eat an entire pot of New Years soba
As for Ueshima Squad, Abareru-kun is up next to challenge the soba
Let's go!! Abareru!!
Yeah!
It's because they tilt
Wow that's fast
Hang in there a little longer!
He's eating
Superb!
I don't get it at all
That was good, Abareru!
Alright, we win!!
Your damn grumbling is getting on my nerves
So let's end it with this
With what?
Let's do it
Bring it out!!
Let's go
Huh, what's this?
Huh?
It changed?
It's back
This year, though our final showdown has arrived- But before that
The tragedy of 2017- do you all remember it?
What was that?
Both leaders
Were supposed to blow air up their asses and arm wrestle
The first one to fart lost
You seriously need to quit that
That showdown to not fart first was
ultimately canceled because of reasons!!
Shit
Relax
What?
A new contest was created!!
Oh?
It's called
Scrotal Tug of War
Ueshima Ryuhei
Degawa Tetsuro
Legendary Scrotal Tug of War Showdown
Ueshima Ryuhei
Degawa Tetsuro
I'm gonna tear your balls off!
That's my line, asshole
My balls are the one thing I know I can trust
This is the finale
Let's go!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------| -----------------------------------------------------------------------|
The clothespins are snapped onto the balls for tug of war
Bring out the balls
Is this okay?
What are they showing us?
What's wrong, Koumoto?
It's so stiff...
Leaders-
The balls are so receded it's like nothing's there
Difficulty clipping to the testicles
I can't get it on, it's so tight
There's no loose skin
Hey!
Do you have warm water or something?
The hell do you mean, warm water?
To soften it up!
Hot water is prepared quickly
Sorry, excuse me
Loosen up
Excuse me, excuse me
HOT!!
This is still before the showdown has even started, too!
Hurry it up
Shut the hell up!!
I'm loosening up my balls!
Why?
Hurry up!
Okay...
Let's go
Let's go, I'm good!!
You got this!
Yeah
Alright!
I got it on there good!
Hurry up!
Hurry up, our leader's already attached!
Both sacks attached and ready
I'm already hooked up!
BRING IT
Ow ow ow ow ow ow
Wait a second! Ow ow ow
Come over here, you bitch!
Oooooooooooooooooh
Bring it out!!
Bring what out?
There's not enough weight
Plastic bottles for weight
Let's go with that
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The weight is increased for both contestants
Slowly, do it slowly
Slowly?
Yes
Uwaaaaa!!
1:30 in the morning- while their next job is being prepared, the five are on standby in their room
Its been 17 hours and 30 minutes since the start
Aaaaaaah
Hey, Endo, why don't you sing a little for us?
Sing?
What kind of song should I sing?
Honestly, anything is fine
Beating out on the asphalt
Dragonfly (Nagabuchi Tsuyoshi)
The sound of my steady steps
To stay true to myself
That's all I've ever wanted
I see people acting like they're somebody else
Matsumoto joins in
I count the nights that I can't stand to go on
Trapped in the inescapable darkness
Even today, I only pretended to sleep
So much that I could die
I wondered who would join in
It would suck if too many joined in
It's kind of like, how is this going to go?
It was quick
It was over quickly
You say that, but
It's not easy
Huh
Uwah!
Uwa
Sudden Blackout
Uwa
Scary
Uwa
Scary
Uwa
Scary
Uwa
Scary
Uwa
No more, no more!
There it is again
No more, no more!
Uwa
Scary
Ow
Hosei and Endo
Ow
Hosei and Endo
They've been taken
A jacket?
That spooked me
Oh wait... Are we supposed to wear this?
Jackets and towels on the desks
What's with the towel?
Meanwhile, Hosei and Endo...
Meanwhile, the vanishing Hosei and Endo
Hey!
HEY!
Scary Scary Scary Scary
Awww not again...
Just where are they going...?