Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: Conjyak BabyStand solar Zebestt sonjeigo photodiode GakiNoSuitGuy AshAbs funtonite Typesetters: Small Carl Adilofax Sacro Dudedafool carebu samsamuel Nigel Amria Textualpoacher kannibleklown Nojiko Caleb Barrett Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: John Dread Ecksdee Elestriel Moocau
We can't trust you anymore, Tanaka
No, no. You can't...
This will cling on to you forever
Well a little bit
You fell in the opposite direction of the spin
That's right
You looked so dizzy
and went spinning
That's not true! That's not true!!
That'd be quite suspicious
No, but that's what happened
That's the only way you could look at it
Please look at it
and then everyone can judge if that's true
I am ao ao ao ao
See, even your jaws can't move properly
You're all shaken
6 hours have passed of their school life
Special class has ended, now returning to the classroom
We‘re back
We sure are
Geez...
Notice
The drawers have all been reset
The drawers
have all been reset
Who's behind this?
Once again
It's only the contents
The surroundings are the same
That's true
It is true
Yeah, it's the same
For real
Shall we go for the drawers then?
It did say that they've all been reset, just to inform us
Shall we do it?
Let us
Yeah, let us. We to have to cross this bridge eventually anyway
Eh, but...
Tanaka as the first one up
Here I go
Another key
Key for locker no. 1
Key?
Makes sense since there are still many unopened lockers
No. 1
Locker no. 1
No. 1?
Isn't no. 1 huge?
It is huge
Will this be okay?
What is it?
It's in a wooden box
There's a fragile sticker on the side
A mysterious item in a wooden box
It says fragile
It's a wooden box
Yes, it's in a solid box
I will open it
Eh, what is it?
What the hell?
A Bottled Baby Gorilla Hamada
It's made so well
What is that thing?
It's so well-made and cute to boot
It really is well-made
It's so damn cute
It is cute
Cute
For real
Don't you find it cute?
It is so cute
It really is so damn cute
The heck you doing?
Sorry. Because it's so cute
Can we take it out?
I think we can
Will the neck snap?
It's so real
Grab it by the body
He's angry because of the way you held it
Why did you keep grabbing it by the head?
So cute!
It's no good if you don't embrace it
It's like a newborn baby
Let's have him be held
Please hold it in your arms
Well it's not an issue of embracing it or not
His neck is still weak
Hold up
The eyes are still not...
He probably can't see well yet...
This is a happy moment
It's not about happiness or any of that...
Could you embrace him?
It's just a doll so I don't care
What's up with this
So cute
It's a baby gorilla
You should take it home with you
That's right
That would be good
Good idea
It keeps looking
It keeps...
Really
Right right
Should we lull it to sleep somewhere?
It's not a living thing just a doll...
But our affection to it is real
That's right. This is no simple matter, we need to...
It's not about lulling it to sleep
Right
I'd wish for them to make one of all the members
It's always only Hamada...
But could it be...
Take a look?
Huh?
Would be nice to get as a present
I would be delighted
See?
Key to locker no. 3
See!
There might be one
Everyone is getting
Probably not a present
I want to get them all
That would be nice
Eh!?
There's something inside
Mysterious pouch & letter
See?
It says to read it before opening the pouch
Why is the bag so huge?
The Invincible School Jacket:
The legendary jacket worn by the invincible gang leader.
Putting this on will grant you the highest authority in the classroom
As the invincible gang leader, you can order the students around
and of course you can also talk informal to everyone
Furthermore if you laugh, the punishment
may be given to other students
It's worse than the baggy pants
A king
It's like a freaking king!!
Invincible
And why is Hosei getting this?
Series: Strongest items
We are getting many lucky items
Lucky items...
But it should've just ended with Tanaka's baggy pants...
Right?
Shouldn't this belong to Hamada?
The Legendary Gang Leader
The passionate lover of Ogawa Natsumi
T/N: Ogawa Natsumi is Hamada's wife.
What's up with that?
Shouldn't it be different?
What the...
Doesn't this belong to Hamada?
Right, originally it should've been
What's up with that?
What do you mean? It's an Invincible Jacket
It says, "Natsumi for Life"
That's right
Together with Natsumi for 30 years and since then to now, I love you
Yankee style
What a powerful message
Right
Such affection
As it says on the card
While I don't want to speak informally
Imma do it!!
With Cocorico, you already have been
That's right
But if you go too far with it
it will give you a bad image
For reals?
Scary scary scary
Why do you keep staring?
If you do that you will drag Downtown down...
That's right
Getting real thirsty
Getting real thirsty!
Oi!! Sakurada Junko
T/N: Sakurada Junko is a Japanese singer and actress who retired from show business. Tanaka may possibly be called by her name due to kind of having a similar hairstyle when she was young.
Taking a lot of liberties
Go an' guess what I wanna drink
T/N: The formal way of saying tea which is "cha" is "ocha". Tanaka dropped the formal "o" prefix to make it informal, but it sounds odd because almost no one uses the informal word for tea.
How 'bout tea?
Tea?
Did you just say tea?
Come on, that had nothing to do with anything, get it together
Me too? No way
Ah he's not getting slapped
The Invincible Jacket!
Can't you order someone to be slapped?
Ah, I see
Right
I feel so bad for poor Hamada
Matsumoto
Really, right here hurts, the pain is getting intense!!
Surprised me
I can feel it right here
Surprised me
The pain in my butt is getting worse
I will also take a peek
Something superior might appear
Something that could beat...
See? Here it is!
Everyone is getting keys
Key to locker no. 28
That's right
Number 28
28 is this way
Might be superior to the invincible items
Freaking huge!!
Eh, is it huge?
What could it be?
What is it?
Wait. What is it?
Hold up
Mysterious pouch
It's huge
Might be another invincible thing
From the invincible series
Funny macho doll
So cool looking
It's amazing
This thing is impressive
What is this thing?
That face though...
But hold up!!
For real, right?
Right
Think about praising me or something...
We've known each other for a long time
It's like we are brothers...
Haven't you grown more hair since last year?
Hamada
It was too obvious
Too obvious
Wait, that's not it, I just thought, "Oh, maybe that's it"
No way because it was too obvious
What is that thing?
It's like an exact replica?
It's pretty well-made
What a hot bod
Let's put them together
Poooooooooot
Ehh?
It made a sound?
What's up
What did it...
What a freaky shriek!?
What's worse is that he has the invincible item
Wait
Every time
Endo
Eh? Why?
Why?
This isn't good, is it?
This sucks
This school leader is no good
Right?
It's because it's an Invincible Jacket!!
You say it's invincible, but
You aren't really using it well
It's bad
Using it like that is no good!!
The way I'm using it?
Tsukitei Hosei, you better shut the hell up already!!
What was that?
Something about Hosei
TN: Minamino Yoko is the actress playing the same role in the series "Sukeban Deka" which translates to "Delinquent Girl Detective".
Minamino Yoko
Delinquent Girl Detective
Holy crap, it's the Delinquent Girl Detective!!
Everyone sit your asses down!
Wow!
It's Delinquent Girl Detective!
With an iron mask hiding his face for 17 years
T/N: This was her actual dialog in the original Sukeban Deka show.
Surviving with only the skin on his back,
this is the fate of the police's minions
But
Even for someone like me,
I haven't forgotten about the precious things I love!!
I am the second Delinquent Girl Detective, Asamiya Saki!!
Throwing away love, taking advantage of the weakness of others' hearts:
The scoundrel Tsukitei Hosei!!
Your ass is unforgivable!!
That's right
She got it out
Wow, it's the real deal!
T/N: That is her detective's badge/yoyo, identical to the one from the show.
Wow
She was right in the center of our generation
Delinquent Girl Detective's Objective
Judge the evil deeds of Hosei
He really did
Yeah, that's why it's crazy
That's right
You used violence!!
Violence? But...
Well, here she comes
Sub-human scum, Tsukitei Hosei
This time I'm sending you straight to hell!!
This is a final act of pity!!
So that you may rest in peace
I'll allow you to eat your favorite food
What's your favorite food? TELL ME!!
Sweet and sour pork, please
SWEET AND SOUR PORK!?
With an iron mask hiding his face for 17 years
Surviving with only the skin on his back
The hellish monologue loops endlessly
This is the fate of police's minions
Even for someone like me, I haven't forgotten about the precious things I love
The 2nd Delinquent Girl Detective, Asamiya Saki!!
Always fumbling away with his beginner level Rakugo,
filling only his own belly with sweet and sour pork!!
Using the traditional arts... You great swindler, Tsukitei Hosei!
Your ass is unforgivable!!
What the hell...
Extending my authority as the legendary delinquent leader,
sub-human scum, Tsukitei Hosei
This "Justice Yoyo" will send you to hell
Phbt
I hoped you would've finished it
You really held out!
Amazingly blunt
Asamiya-san, please keep it smooth
Asamiya-san, that blunt delivery...
Right?
I thought that my...
UGH! We're getting nowhere!
For you,
This climax is befitting for someone like you!
Thai Kick for the Evil Hosei
Why is he here?
But she was saying
In my place,
This man will give you what you deserve!!
Iron mask
UWAAAAAA!!!!!!
Thai Kick Enforcer
Current World Champion Nasukawa Tenshin
T/N: Nasukawa Tenshin is the current Rizin Kickboxing featherweight world champion, as well as former Rizin bantamweight champion, and 2017 Rizin kickboxing flyweight tournement champion.
No way! Wait! Wait! Stop! This isn't the usual guy!!
It's Tenshin!
You're not... WAIT!!
Don't move so much
Don't thrash around!
It'll be the same, it's just that he's Tenshin
Don't fight back
WAIT WAIT!!
Relax, don't move around too much, it'll make it worse
Don't move around
It won't go well
Wait wait, no... No...
NOOO PLEASE WAIT!! I'm scared, what are you doing?!
Hosei! I'll send you to hell!!
Yes!
OOwwowwowwowwwowow!!!
I'll send you to hell!
OOwwowwowwowwwowow!!!
Well, let's go now
Ow
Look Tanaka, this is it!!
This is the real thing
That hurts
Oh it hurts
This had to hurt
Definitely painful
Wow, that really was something
He's a current world champion after all
That was good!
He tore you up!
That's just...
He's torn up!!
ow ow ow ow ow
Tanaka would get right up afterwards, though
He'd just casually get up like nothing
Are you okay?
See? See? He can't get up
Tanaka would already be standing up by now
Honestly, even I wouldn't be able to stand after that. I understand how you feel
Where does it hurt?
Honestly... My... Uh...
My asshole area really hurts...
Your asshole region hurts, huh? But take off the jacket, and heal your heart
Right, that's right
You need to change out of that and change yourself too
That's what got you kicked
Ah ow
What's with this invincibility stuff?
Oh I haven't gone yet
No, you haven't
Key to Locker #27
They've all been lockers, right?
It's that big sucker there
They all have been
This drawer series
Tanaka, that's no good, if you're able to get up and walk around that quickly...
That's the willpower of a professional
Ahhh again!!
Mysterious pouch
It's this pattern
I'm through with this pattern
It's scary!
What's in it?
A guillotine hood
Yes
That's a big drawstring
Tsk!!
The hell is this?
Funny Baby Gorilla Hamada Doll
They're all so great
They're really pushing this, aren't they
They're really great, even down to the delivery
They're all so good
They're really pushing this
Booo
Is the mechanism not obvious?
You squeeze it...?
It was so much
Baby Gorilla Hamada Doll
Lets out a yell when you squeeze his belly
With the Matsumoto one, what if you squeezed it really hard...
Ah, if you squeezed it really hard
Around the abs
Squeeze it as hard as you can and see...
Like this?
What the hell is that!!
I hate how high pitched it is
What is that even?
Seriously what is with that?
What is that?
Why was it so high?
The muscularity is probably why
I guess that's what you get when you squeeze too hard
Oh wait, it's still sunken in
I didn't realize!
So it's like that
Yeah it is
If you press it too much, then...
Like that, if you press too hard
I'm sure it's got its own sweet spot to it for sure
It does
You're really pushing it
It's manzai performed by Downtown
Downtown's manzai
What the hell is this
A popular man yells from the rooftop!!
Finally we're in the second half, a popular man yells from the rooftop
There's something I want to say!!
Huge Celebrity
Appearance!
8 hours of student life
There's no time for these five to rest
No I don't think so
Yeah
Everyone good?
For some reason there are students gathered outside,
it seems like something is going on
On the grounds they'll observe an event
That's vague!
This is really dumb
Seriously
Would be better to just go and then come back
You should go to the bathroom
I did
Oh you did?
Is the superintendent coming to this, too?
I wonder
What!?
I wonder how that asshole is getting home
I bet he's walkin'
The thugs that picked on Ito-kun in the bathroom
His face was hilarious!
That was so damn funny
They slapped him
Bullies?
They're really no good
Yeah, they were mean to Ito-san
Oh right
Someone's standing
Let's get closer
Huh?
What's going on?
Perhaps?
Who is it?
Ito-san...
What happened?
He's looking at something
So high up
It's put...
...so high up
Whoa it's his bicycle
That position is quite something
Really...
You're being bullied
They must've worked hard for it
That's why they were holding that thing
Right, the seat
They had the seat
I want to help somehow, but...
We can't really do anything
We can't reach it
Bullying is bad you guys
Of course
We know
We understand
We can't do anything about it
Shouldn't we call someone
to get that thing down from the tree?
We probably should
I agree
His pants also probably got taken...
Seems that way
They got his pants
They're already gathered.
Oh they are
Let's get going
It's true
What is that?
The students are watching the roof of the building
What's happening?
Okay guys, line up in front of everyone
Let's look at the roof
Yes, sir
Is something gonna come out?
Professional Japanese Rugby Player
Isileli Nakajima
T/N: Isileli is originally from Tonga, moved to Japan as a teenager, and his Japanese last name actually comes from his Japanese wife so his Japanese is not great and has a thick accent.
I'm First Year...
...Class 1...
Isileli Nakajima!
Wha-?
Omamegaoka High School Tradition
Students make assertions from the roof
There is something important...
...I have to say!
What is it?
Ever since I came to Japan
I've been a fan of Downtown
I even watch Gaki no Tsukai every time
We're very thankful
Especially, Silent Library, I love it!
Is that so?
Wow
But there is something
that bothers me
I see
What is it?
As soon as I bleached my hair, people started saying
"You look like him, you look like him" and compare me to Macchan
I'm not going for his look anyway
And besides, I am Tongan, born and raised
Now, I'll sing to you common happenings in Tonga,
in the melody of "Yesterday" by The Beatles
Really!?
Common happenings, I want to talk about common happenings in Tonga
Is that how the song goes?
It's a bit off isn't it?
Omamegaoka High school Student's Assertion
He can't get the key for "Yesterday"
Yesterday..
That's why we couldn't get it
He can't get the pitch
I want to say them
He got it a little
Happenings~ Tonga's common happenings~ I want to tell them
I can hear it, a little
I don't hear it personally
Right...
"Yesterday" is not coming through
Right
I can't hear it
Common things~ I want to tell them quickly
Oh, this is kinda...
Tonga's common happenings~ I want to tell them quickly
You can say them now
Which part of "Yesterday" is this?
Tonga's common happenings~
What the hell is this
Bananas are usually fried~
Bananas are usually fried
That ain't something to cheer
Bananas are usually fried huh?
That's whats happening in Tonga
Okay okay...
That's it...
Right...
There's more?
There seems to be more
Fuku Suzuki
T/N: Fuku Suzuki is a Japanese actor who has appeared in many dramas, movies, and variety shows.
I'm Fuku Suzuki from Third Year Class A
That was unexpected
There's something I want to tell you all today
What is it?
I'm going to use my courage to say the things
I could not say, but
I always thought about in regards to everyone
Tell us!!
YO TV PRODUCERS!!
THE SWEETS IN THE GREEN ROOM ARE TOO SWEET!!
Omamegaoka High school Student's Assertion
The true feelings of a child star
DON'T THINK I'LL BE HAPPY WITH THINGS LIKE COOKIES AND OTHER SWEETS!!
INCLUDE SOME DAMN SALTY CRACKERS
I'M ALREADY 15 YEARS OLD FOR CHRIST'S SAKE~!!
Treating me and my brother the same way...
T/N: Fuku has a 6-year-old brother who is also a child star.
Everybody's like "Fuku-kun Fuku-kun"
T/N: The -kun suffix is generally used for children, particularly boys. The -san suffix is formal for people who you should show respect to. Basically, Fuku is demanding respect.
I've spent 14 years in this business
It's not Fuku-kun, it's Fuku-san to all of you!!
Fuku-san is pretty weird to say
Everybody treats me like I'm a kid
I'm already HAIRY DOWN THERE!!
That took some courage
It did
Right?
Well said well said
The built up tension
There's more to it for sure
Yeah
He doesn't want the kid treatment
Right? His image...
There's nothing to do
Shinji Yamashita
T/N: Shinji Yamashita is a famous actor and tarento. He's known for his roles in dramas, movies, plays, and variety shows.
Third Year Class B, my name is Shinji Yamashita
Today, I'd like to say something
...To the people at NTV
What is it?
Don't ask me rugby related
questions!
Lead actor of legendary drama series "School Wars"
T/N: Shinji played the rugby team coach in "School Wars".
Shinji Yamashita
32 y.o. at the time
I haven't done any rugby outside of the drama!
As if I'd know anything about the details of the rules!
A while ago, I was told my comments
about the Japanese National Rugby Team were too weak
And then,
For 35 years,
"One for all!! All for one!!"
I've only been using that line!!
You think just by using the "School Wars" theme music
you can get away with anything
I bet you're putting it on right now as well!
They are indeed playing it
Certainly
T/N: Yoshimasa Iwahashi is part of the comedian manzai duo, Plus Minus.
Yoshimasa Iwahashi
Plus Minus
2nd Year Class A
I'm Plus Minus' Iwahashi
Oh right Iwahashi
Iwahashi
Today I will talk...
Please stop that
His body responds to triggers unwillingly
T/N: He has Tourette's Syndrome, making him react to certain triggers.
It's instinctive
I react to it. Hamada-san! I came to talk about you!
He reacts to it
He'll react to it
Oh really?
I will say everything that
I couldn't say until now
Okay
13 years ago, when I got to meet
Hamada-san for the first time
I was warned because of my weird tics
by my senpais, and it made me troubled
He can't help, but react
He reacted
His tic reacting
to the sound
Hemmingway, ocean view
THAT MAKES ME FORGET!!
When you make the sound, he can't help but react to it
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!
Sorry sorry
We're listening
13 years ago, when we first met
I was worried about my tics acting out
I got warned by my senpais, and I was suffering
At that time Hamada-san told me
"How about you do it fully?
Afterwards, I'll take care of it and wipe your ass for you"
T/N: He doesn't mean this literally. Just means he'll clean up after any messes.
That's what you said to me
I'm really thankful for that...
I am here today thanks to those words
Hamada-san
There it is again
I'LL END UP JUMPING OFF!!
He'll jump off...
Don't jump! Please
Don't do it don't
What are you trying to say?
That would make you jump, I understand
Seriously, I don't know
You don't let me talk at all!
We don't get what you're getting at!
I'm trying to talk here
Truly thanks to Hamada-san I've come to where I am this day
Yes yes
Thank you very much
Yes
Hemmingway, Ocean View
You, my Foreign Country People
Shirogane Birthday Party
T/N: Don Konishi is a famous designer, Beautiful Sunday is a famous 1976 song by Seiji Tanaka.
Don Konishi, Beautiful Sunday
T/N: Cyber Gadget makes custom game controllers.
Cyber Gadget
Online Shop
T/N: Poseidon Japan is a water polo team, Ang San Su Chi is the Myanmar Foreign Affairs Minister and pacifist activist.
Poseidon Japan
Ang San Su Chi, Suits
YEEEAAAHHH!!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!
No, you
Is that what you wanted to say?
It hurts so much
That's the end
Ah okay
Thank you very much
No no no...
That guy needs a safety rope for sure
because he'll seriously jump off
Yeah it's dangerous
I was stressed out for a bit
Right