TG
Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader
Rich
Translators
DC Subs
Lei
Mickstar
Oolong
Typesoshee
Solari
Typesetters
Alex
hachihajeo
Otviss
Sacro
sythy
veliem
Hinnerk
It all started 10 years ago
It all started
10 years ago
This year is...
New Year's Eve special
Do not laugh 24 hours: Detective!
Downtown's
Gaki no
Do no laugh
Tsukai ya Arahende
Detective 24 hours
Downtown
Matsumoto Hitoshi
Hamada Masatoshi
Great to see you all!
Cocorico
Endo Shozo
Tanaka Naoki
There are so many people here...
Tsukitei Housei
Amazing..
This day has come again...
This one is the final one we do...
Whaaaatttt!?
Is that so?
Is it really the final one?
The audience is saying "Whaaat" and all.
But you 4 weren't really saying anything...
That's true...
Let's keep doing it from here on...
Who's the youngest out of us 4 again?
That's us
And how old were you two again?
We are 44 years old
So young...
Are we really?
You still have ages to go
You're at the age where we started this whole thing...
Oh, you mean yourselves...
What was this year's theme again?
Do not laugh Detective
Right then, Matsumoto-san...
Why the hell do I have to do this?
Check if the plug hasn't been unplugged
ON!!
Do not laugh Detective
The beginning
The beginning of it all...
Welcomes the men
The same kind of morning weather...
kindly welcomes the members...
Oh man, it's started raining
Oh, for crying out loud...
It's started to rain just as we're about to start...
Oh man, how's it going to turn out this year?
Oh man, that's really annoying
Why is the weather suddenly so bad?
It's starting to pour down
Heeeeey!!
Shut the fuck up, you idiot!
You idiot!
You're so fucking noisy!!
From so far away...
You're all complaining so much
You're the worst, Matsumoto-san...
Yeah...
Why is he walking so fast?
He's just rushed off ahead
He's just such a forward guy
Really?
What are you dressed as?
Morning, guys
I've seen this character somewhere before though
Over here...
That's fine and all
But can't we do anything about this rain?
Morning, guys...
Fujiwara Hiroshi
Downtown's Former Manager
You got to be kidding me!?
You guys have no aura at all
Well I mean...
We've never been told to have an aura really...
If you had told us a bit sooner to have an aura, maybe we could have...
Yeah, we would have...
At this rate, we can't get any F1 Sous...
F1 Sou...
F1 Sou: A 20-34 year old woman who works in the broadcast industry
How many times you going to say that...?
Do you have actually know what a F1 Sou is?
Like what kind of people from which generation they're from...
They're them women...
That's so him...
And because I knew this would happen,
I've invited a special guest
with some serious aura
A guest with aura who even F1 Sous would know!
He's a guest
That's right, a guest
This has never happened before...
Are you serious?
This is a first...
Right, so look over there
Heeeey!!
Straight from the start?
Special Guest Incoming!!
Already?
Someone with aura...
Yeah.....
Who is it?
I wonder who it is?
We can laugh now, right?
Since we haven't started...
He was so far away...
Multiple guests?
We had no idea
What!?
WHAT!?
It's Nakai!!
What the hell is he doing here?
Is it the real one?
Oh shit, it's the real one
Oh shit,it's the real one
It is...
Wait, why???
Our surroundings are kind of shit and a bloody train's just gone past
Your timing was just...
Damn, your timing sucks
Damn your timing sucks
Damn, your timing sucks
Your timing really sucked there...
Even though he's a superstar...
His entry collides with a train going past
That was just...
The train in the back...
Wait...
I didn't know about these guys behind me until now...
So this is the super guest with aura...
It's SMAP!
Special Guest: Super Idol
But the guys in the back...
The guys in the back aren't...
Wait...
I didn't know anything about these guys...
Kusanagi-kun is really pissing me off
Yeah...
Hey, Kusanagi-kun...
Where is he looking?
What is he doing?
They just came out of nowhere...
Amazing...
Kusanagi-kun is so funny...
The way Gorou-chan made his entry was amazing
So funny
The way Gorou-chan made his entry was amazing
It was amazing
Damn...
You're right...
Aren't you guys meant to be at the Kouhaku?
That's right
Oh yeah!
Am Iokay to be here?
Am I okayto be here?
I haven't heard anything about the dealings between the two companies...
Yeah...
You're meant to be on Kouhaku, right?
You're fine!!
What are you doing here...
SMAP has five members,
so it's fine if Nakai isn't there
But all 5 aren't here...
Kusanagi-kun, where the hell are you looking?
I know...
I want to ask a lot of things
First of all, where are you looking, Kusanagi-kun?
Where?
Seriously...
Please tell us...
Yeah, please...
I have no idea what he is looking at...
Nakai
It was your dream to go on Gaki, right?
Just go, man!
He is...
Nakai-kun, go on the show
and make sure you don't get your butt slapped, okay?
That was good...
He's quite similar...
Kusanagi-kun,
what should I do?
Do your best, Nakai-kun
He does not have a voice like that..
He definitely doesn't sound like that...
Not at all...
It's fine for me to go on Gaki and all,
but I wish there was a script or something...
We wish that as well!
So at least we're on the same page about certain things...
Wait, when he said you've been invited...
Wait, are you actually coming with us?
Yeah, I am right?
This year,Nakai is taking part too.
You're kidding me!
This year, Nakai is taking part too.
What, for real?
But seriously, you have to go to Kouhaku, right?
Obviously...
But these 4 have nothing to do with the show...
I presume...
The first ever Guest player
Enter Nakai Masahiro!!
Enter Nakai Masahiro, this series' first ever guest player.
Before the start,
a troublesome feeling...
Wait, are these guys coming as well?
No, no, um...
Everyone but Nakai can just go home now
Oh, they're going home?
Hey Kusanagi!
They've left...
Kusanagi!!
He didn't say anything...
What is wrong with that Kusanagi?
Yeah...
This is amazing
Are you sure this clash with Kouhaku is not a problem?
It's fine
You keep saying it's fine,
but why are you so confident about that?
He's been saying he wants to come on Gaki
and all
So since he's managed to get onto his dream show,
let's get Nakai to say a few words to us
For 24 hours, as long as it's allowed, I would like to join forces with you guys
Our pleasure! Great to be working with you.
That was shit!!
Can you introduce yourself without any chopsticks or sticks?
Oh just forget it, just line up, will ya?
It's fine..?
I thought he was heading somewhere...
What a weird feeling...
Okay, guys?
Not really...
Today's weather is perfect for a detective
How?!
These are the times when investigations really take off
Hey Hosei!!
I'm wearing these glasses
and dressed as a boy in a blue suit
And 100 per ce... oh shit, it's not 100 percent
Sorry...
No, I'm sorry, but...
you really are shit at this
Oh, I see...
He actually said sorry there
didn't he?
So this part really has no cuts or anything, huh?
Yeah
There's loads of this to deal with...
You don't edit it at all or anything
Nope...
You shouldn't really be apologising to us...
In the end, there is only truth.
This year's theme is Detective
I am the one who will look after you from here on
My body is chubby; my brain is loyal to the job
and my name is Detective Fujiwara
Okay?
What are you on about?
It's just as we thought...
This year's theme is detective
How many fucking times are you going to say that?!
The 6 will become detectives
and take part in harsh tasks for 24 hours
And the 6 will become detectives...
and participate in various activites...
That photo of me is awful...
I said you guys were going to be detectives, so why are you dressed like that?
Well obviously, we had no idea about this...
There are some clothes prepared for you in the box
So go and get changed now, will ya?
As they are going to become detectives
They get changed into appropriate clothing
The first step:
They must
change into suitable clothes
Are you guys all ready?
I'm going to get you to come out in order
You're so cool, you're really fit, huh?
Man, Matsumoto...
You're going to become Japan's most macho detective
Oh, thank you very much...
Super muscular macho detective
You look really awesome
Thanks a lot
What are you so happy about?
Fearless Tsukkomi Detective
Yeah...
Why do you look so happy?
Because it's been a few years since they gave me normal clothes...
That's right
Because it's been a few years since they gave me normal clothes...
Oh I see...
They tampered with his clothes the last couple of years
Yeah, it does make it harder...
Damn, as usual you're looking handsome.
Thank you very much
Handsome re-married detective
You're the handsome detective
I'll do my best...
As usual, you just look skinny as ever...
Skinny, lanky detective
But I gues you'll be a good lanky detective
...Thank you very much...
Oh, aren't you cute
Oh, they gave you normal clothes...
Baby faced detective
It's okay.
I thought Yama-chan was in trouble since he was last
That's what you'd think
That's true
Yeah, because he was 5th
Yeah me too, but it was all okay...
Which means...
Damn man, it's so tight on you!
Nakai's clothes' size are too small
The size of the clothes...
It's definitely not the right size...
It's definitely not...
It's a bit weird...
It's far too small
What is that?
Umm... to be honest
I actually really like it
You're actually pulling it off
They probably wanted me to say, "What the hell, guys? Why is this so tight?!"
But to be honest, it's really not that bad
Do Not Laugh: The Rules
The rules are very simple
Be a detective for 24 hours
During this time,they cannot laugh
If they laugh,they will be severely punished
For the next 24 hours, they cannot laugh, no matter what
That is all
In a minute, the bus to the detective agency will arrive.
Prepare a fucking taxi, man!
The nervousness starts to build
But seriously...
Guys, can you just line up over here?
There's a bus stop here, of all places?
Seriously man, enough with the buses...
Hey, the bus is here
You guys really are going to start at this time in the morning?
Yeah..
I am shocked...
There were pictures\c&HF3BC22&} of that bus&H0124DD&} all over Twitter, you know?
There were pictures of that bus all over Twitter, you know?
Already??
Even before we get onto the bus ourselves?
Here it is guys.
This is the bus to Gaasu Kurobikari Detective Agency
This is the detective agency you're all about to go to
As soon as you take a step onto the bus you're not allowed to laugh
As usual...
Seriously, why aren't we allowed to laugh?
You really do have a point
Can you just tell us what the reason is?
Yeah, explain that to us
You just can't laugh...
It's a rule!
BUS TO
The bus to Gaasuu Kurobikari Detective Agency
On the bus designed for the detectiveSuga-lock Holmes,
On the bus designed for the detective Suga-lock Holmes,
They will go to the agency
they will make their way to the detective agency
Shall we?
Shall we go?
This must be stressful, every single year...
Since it's a special occasion,Nakai should go first
Since it's a special occasion, Nakai should go first
Me?
The first step...
But you're all coming too...
Of course
Yes
He's on!
As soon as you get on...
Do not laugh
Detectives
His butt
looks so tight in that...
It's so tight
Let's go on then...
Damn, we've started this again...
I know...
2015...
There are already others on board
Ah~~~, it's begun!!
It's come again this year, huh?
I mean I'm new here, so I'm really looking forward to it
But this is tougher than you think
Are the days before
really horrible?
Oh yeah, I hate it
Like the day before, when we are on our way here and all,
don't you just hate it?
I hate it so much
In my head,
"Donna Donna" starts playing
I feel like I'm getting sold...
The bus leaves. What lies ahead?
Finally, the bus leaves for the Detective Agency
What lies ahead?
It's still so weird that Nakai-kun is here
Yama-chan, it's been so long huh?
It really has been...
How many years has it been?
Haven't met since Hosei went on a program hosted by Nakai 17 years ago
Like... 15 years?
What?
That long?
Do you still have that rabbit?
No, he's not with us anymore
Because... When we last met he...
Rabbits live for like 7 to 8 years
What was his name again?
Ninjin (means carrot in Japanese)
Please stop that
Trying to frame each other and stuff
Here comes the first one...
If you laugh, the black army
smack your butt
Can I take this off? Isn't it boiling in here?
They're just trying to get each other
You're right
Nakai-kun, that's no good
Nakai-kun, your butt
Show us your butt
Oh, shall we stop the cameras once?
Trousers around the butt area tore
Don't say things like "shall we stop the camera".
We're not going to stop the camera for something like that!
Why would we stop it?
Wait, I had nothing to do with that
That rip is seriously quite big though...
We're just going to carry on though...
Yeah, the whole way
Shit, it's really torn
Don't say things like "Let's pause once".
The laughter assassins lie ahead
and finally reveal themselves
The vehicle where the guys try to get each other...
Now finally, the laughter assassins reveal themselves.
Man, seriously I am so nervous
Arrived at bus stop
DokonjoGaeruTheme song
Kyouko-chan
Goriraimo
Ocarina
Himura Yuuki
Have you spoken to Hiroshi about "that thing"?
I haven't got the courage to tell Hiroshi-kun...
Because he would definitely be upset...
If he finds out I only have a month to live...
That might be true, but you have to tell him
Dokonjo Gaeru Story
Kyouko-chan has only 1 month left to live
But I've actually invited Hiroshi out here...
So you have to tell him when he comes
Hiroshi will be here any minute...
Hiroshi
Yoshikazu Ebisu
Kyouko-chan, it's been a while.
What a face..
Reading the script
Learn it, for God's sake...
What a great face...
You have to learn your lines...
Hiroshi, sit here...
Please don't be surprised and just listen to me...
The truth is I...
I only have 1 month left to live...
What, is that true?
Well, Hiroshi? Listen up.
Kyouko-chan was thinking about you and didn't tell you about her illness
I had no idea that Kyouko-chan was ill
What should I do...Pyon kichi?
What should I do... Pyon kichi?
Hehehehehehe
Awful
Seriously... What the hell?
Come on, let's do our best
What's wrong, Hiroshi?
Hehehehehe
What's wrong, Hiroshi?
Umm I...
What is it?
Kyouko-chan the truth is
I reallylike you
I really like you
Kyouko-chan
You said it, well done!
Hehehehehehehe
What the hell is going on?
What's going on?
What the hell?
Please do it properly...
I don't know what's going on... What's wrong with him?
He's not serious at all
Hug her tight, Hiroshi!
Gyuu!
Hehehe
Oh no, Kyouko-chan's condition has...
Kyouko-chan's condition has worsened!
Hiroshi-kun...
Dokonjo Gaeru Story
Kyouko-chan's condition has drastically changed
I don't want to die!
Kyouko-Chan!
Kyouko-channnnn!
This is not the time to be crying, guys!
Gorou
Wakabayashi Masayasu
It's too early to give up
Kyouko-chan
is on the verge of life and death.
Let's make Kyouko-chan's wishes come true
and give her will to carry on living
Dokonjo Gaeru Story
Make Kyouko-chan's wishes come true
and give her will to carry on living
Let's make a miracle happen!
I want to have my first kiss!
Your first kiss?
Kyouko-chan's wish
She wants to have her first kiss
Her wish is to have her first kiss...
gewewgweg
There are 6 guys right in front of us
So out of these 6
Choose who you want to have your first kiss with
Go in front of the guy you want to kiss and close your eyes
And since your life depends on it
Method of getting her first kiss
Stand in front of the guy she wants to kiss and close her eyes
The guy who you stand in front of with your eyes closed will want to kiss you anyway.
Kyouko-chan, choose your guy
It's your first kiss, so take your time in choosing
Really look at them...
Take your time choosing...
She's looking at him...
She just tipped his hat to the side..
Oh...
She closed her eyes!!
Her first kiss will be with Hamada
It's probably because of his lips
This guy with the lips will kiss you, I'm sure
I'm sure he will
She smiled a little bit there...
That was great, huh?
Why me?
That's great, huh?
Ouch, that looked bad
I'm so happy for you
Kyouko-chan, you will never get another chance like this
Why don't you kiss one more guy?
But get one with
some real passion
Might as well kiss one more
Close your eyes in front of them again
You're kidding me...
She really does like him...
You got thrown away...
Hey, she's gone over there
Hold on, you don't think...
Hold on...
Has she closed her...
She's locked on...
It is her second time...
That's right
She's closed her eyes!!
2nd kiss will be with Nakai
Her eyes are closed!
Yeah they are
Go for it, bro
Yeah
Kiss her for us, please
Her life depends on it
Deeper than the one before
She wants another one, huh?
That's right
Give her a deep kiss
Go for it
That's deep
Give her a deep kiss
That was amazing
You must be so happy
That was something...
Kyouko-chan...
That was amazing
You really did it...
That was amazing, huh?
We received a bit of hope
With this, Kyouko-chan...
Is that enough?
You must have gotten the will to live
I...
Kyouko-chan's still saying something...
I want to hear SMAP perform live...
Kyouko-chan's wish
To hear SMAP sing live
You want to hear them live?
But we need SMAP to be here to do that..
We haven't arranged that though...
That's true
What should we do?
Hey guys...
He's here...
He's sitting right in front of us!
SMAP is here!!
SMAP is here!
And it's SMAP's leader who's here!
Oh wow, the leader?!
Please, Kyouko-chan's life de...
Kyouko-chan's life depends on it
Please sit here
And sit next to her
Sit right next to her
And please hug her for us
Please sit right next to her and sing for her...
Please
Music Start!!
Lion Heart - SMAP
Fujiwara suddenly cut in
What the hell
You're going to fucking sing it?
This is like a "You're going to sing it?" series...
I knew Fujiwara-san stood up and all...
When the hell did you get there?
Okay, here we go
Lion Heart - SMAP
God, she's annoying
You can hear everything...
I will sing now...
You are always my medicine box
SMAP Leader - No volume at all
You heal any pain
That I am in
What can I do with
ordinary love?
To protect you, that's what I was born for
It's not good at all
It's their song as well
Singing it in such a weird way the whole time
I'll be by your side even when you get sick of me
God, he's so shitty
As I watch you sleep, my heart shakes, Lion Heart
He's so shit...
This is the worst
This is just ridiculous
Again?
If we ever
Goriraimo now cuts in
have a kid together
He's quite good...
I will tell the kid that it
You're kidding me, right?
What world is this?
is the 2nd most precious thing to me in the world
You will also at some point
Gorou now cuts in...
meet someone you love
God, he's shit as well
Just like I did
This is awful...
When I met your mother
This really was bad
A past full of lies
Now Hiroshi cuts in
and false love
I'll bury everything
Awful
all those things we lost
A SMAP group has been made!!
This is the worst
I'll be by your side even if you get sick of me
It's just a party
As I watch you sleep, my heart shakes, Lion Heart
Kiyoko-chan's life has...
KYOUKO-CHAN!!
KYOUKO-CHAN!
You've gone and done it!
Why the hell is he laughing?
Why is he laughing?
Someone's just died!
Yeah, someone died
She just died...
Why did he laugh?
He couldn't hold it in...
If you were the real SMAP,
there's no way Kyouko-chan would have died!
You're a fake idol, aren't you!?
They're going to leave Kyouko-chan?
What's he going to do?
She's not dead at all...
What the hell...
This really is tough...
Yeah this is...
This really is hard...
1 hour since the start
Only 1 hour since the start
The smacks keep coming
Due to the number of smacks, the 6 do not crack a smile
However, the traps which lie ahead of them
The traps which lie ahead
will not go easy on them
Well, I guess you had no choice but to sing before
Arrived at a bus stop
But I'm not sure why the others started to sing...
YOU GUYS, DON'T MOVE
Don't move
Tokyo Metropolitan 1st division: Shiroda Gorou
Kinoshita Takayuki
You're all here, yeah?
The other day, there was a murder case around here...
There was a murder nearby
According to witnesses,
there was a man between 40 and 50 years old,
dressed as a detective...
The 6 match the criminal's description
They were dressed like you
Come to the police station please
Hang on a minute please
Who the hell are you?
I'm Superintendent Itou of the 7th Division
Tokyo Metropolitan 7th Division- Superintendent Ito Rin
Takanashi Rin
The 7th division will also be taking part in this investigation
The 7th division has nothing to do with this
This is an investigation for the 1st division, so go home! Go home!
And we're saying we don't trust the 1st division!!
Who the hell are you?
Tokyo Metropolitan 7th division: Kinomiya Nagisa
Horikita Maki
I'm like her, from the 7th division; my name is Kinomiya Nagisa
For real?
They got a serious actress...
Seriously?
This is amazing
I'm scared, I'm scared
Kinomiya? I've heard that name before
The female detective who uses some special ability to find the culprit, right?
When Kinomiya-san takes her headphones off and syncs with a person, she can read your mind.
What the hell are you on about?
Detective Kinomiya's special ability
She can read people's minds
Anyway, enough about that
I'm going to take these guys to the station, so move out of my way.
I got to go
Shiroda-san...
What?
You really think these guys are the ones who did it?
Of course they are, however you look at it.
That guy with the blonde hair
He's definitely the one who did it
Well, this would scare anyone...
I have synced...
Wait, what?
"Make it the exact same, will ya?"
What the hell you on about?
This guy... This October...
He bought a specially made cake from a store in Shimokitazawa
You're right, there are witness statements backing that up
This October, at a cute cake shop in Shimokitazawa,
an out of place Macho man was seen entering and leaving it
And the cake this man ordered...
No no no...
It was a full of love:
Please hold on a minute...
a birthday cake with a portrait of himself on it, which was to be sent to his wife
Please...
Please hold on a minute...
Whaaaat?
It's not how it sounds!!!
Wow!!
She figured out about how Matsumoto is a loving husband
It's not what it sounds like!!!
That's amazing!
Wow...
Oh, that's why she said at the beginning, "Make it the exact same, will ya?"
Oh right, I get it now
Oh right, that was what it was about
I did not see that happening
That is a shock
I don't want her to look at me
That was unbelievable
Where did they get that information?
The information! Where did you get it from?
And on top of that,
he's been making appearances at Nakano.
You're right
You're right, there are witness statements backing that up
He was at Nakano Broadway
looking for a "Unagiinu" costume for his daughter
It took him a while, but when he did find it,
there was a huge Macho man jumping with joy
I'm hot
I'm so hot
Seriously, enough now...
No, no, no...
I see...
She is really amazing
She figured out how much he loves his child
Yeah, she is
She's amazing
This is not good...
Are you okay?
No no, it's not like that...
What was it about?
I'm so hot...
Okay then...
How aboutthis guy?
Isn't this guy the one?